Dammit

Chapter 1: insert creative name here

A/n: hey yall this is my first fanfic ever and I'm writting it on my phone, so if i mess up or if i have bad grammar im apologizing now. If there is southern slang you don't understand or horsey words you don't know comment and I'll do my best to explain it to you. Ive been riding horses for 13 years so i know what im talking about. If anyone actually reads this i love you. Lets begin:
Blake's PoV:
Hi y'all. My name is Cynthia Blake Aksel ( pronounced like Axel, it's Norwegian), but yall can call me Blake. I don't like being called Cynthia, its way to girly for me. I'm 18 years old and I'm a ranch hand at a horse stable in Richmond Texas. I have long dirty blonde hair with natural bleach blonde highlights, tan skin, long legs and very curvy. I'm most definitely not skinny.... I consider myself fit but i know im actually fat. I'm 5'8 and 170 lbs. I've never had braces. Most people think my hair is fake because i have dark roots and dark eyebrows, but im honestly scared to dye my hair... Also, people think i wear color contacts because my eyes change colors... It's not my fault... I was just born weird...

My parents never really paid attention to me. All that mattered to them was my brother. He was Mr. Perfect. In high school he was on varsity basketball, everyones best friend and was very smart. Since my parents both played basketball up to college, so did my brother. I tried basketball; it was fun, but not really my style. My parents forced me to every sport in school to see of i liked one, but the only thing I enjoyed was going out to ride a horse. My parents stopped paying attention to me once i chose to ride horses. They said i was to fat to ride one. Which was true. It wouldn't hurt if i lost a few pounds... Or 20 lbs... Or 50.... Or 75....
Soon i stopped eating breakfast and then started skipping lunch and slow stopped eating dinner. I drank lots of water and maybe had an apple or carrot if I didn't plan on sharing it with the horse my trainer let me ride, Juliet. Juliet is a lot like me honestly. We both don't have a lot of friends, no one likes her and no one really tries to talk to me, and people tells is that we need to lose weight. I enjoyed riding her. She was a challenge and i love a good challenge.
High school wasn't really a fun place for me. Just a place where i went to learn things, have people make fun of my weight, and keep me away from riding. The guys would always make fun of the fact i rode horses. I would find pictures of dead horses in my locker and notes threatening to kill Juliet.
I walked home from school one day to find my brother's truck outside our house. Aw man, I don't like it when he is home. All that means is i get yelled at by my parents. Sure enough, i walk into the house and my mom says " I'm so glad you walk home Cynthia, but you need to lay off the sweets. " i sighed and grabbed a bottle of water as i walked up to my room. " you need to be more like your brother! Oh look how handsome Jimmy is. How is Gracie? How is school?" She asked my brother Jimmy. I didn't bother sticking around to listen to his perfect little life.
There is one thing that I'm looking forward to this week though. Im graduating high school this Saturday. Only two more days and I can move out of this god forsaken house. I can survive two more days right? Wrong...
My dad came home from work that night and as soon as he got home he lite a joint in his closet. I could smell the weed in the vents. He wasn't the only one who smoked though, my mom and my brother all smoked weed. I didn't... I'm not a fan of drugs. I walked down stairs and knocked on my parents bedroom door.
" Dad, can you drive me to the barn? Or can i take your car?" I asked him. I really didn't want to be home while they smoked. Usually i can get him before he lights his joint. " why the fuck would i let you drive MY car to that nasty smelly farm!?" He yelled at me. " i bet you just want to go fuck some dude right? Or go get high and get the munchies so you can go eat all the food in the house? That's why you're so fat! You fat slut." He spat in my face. I could smell the alcohol on his breath and the weed on his clothes.
Normally i can handle this but tonight was not a good night. "Asshole" i muttered under my breath. I was about to turn around and go back to my room when my mother smacked me in the face. Her fresh manicured fingers left deep scratches on my face. I didn't even realize she was behind me. "I should have named you fat Amy" she said to me. I could smell the alcohol on her breath. It was so strong that it could have cleaned the cuts on my face. I was about to run away from them but my father grabbed my shirt. I resisted him and he ripped my shirt off.
" look at you, you're a disgusting cow. No wonder the boys at school don't talk to you. Those nasty scar all over your stomach. Bet you cut yourself for every one night stand you have." I started to cry and i ran into my room. That's it I'm done. Im leaving tonight.
I grabbed a bag and started stuffing it with clothes, makeup, toiletries and of course, my little black box. I opened it to find my little silver friends. I picked up one razor blade and sliced my upper thighs. It felt good to relieve the stress and the pain i was feeling inside. I quickly put them in my bag and waiting for everyone to fall asleep so I could sneak out. I opened my window and climbed out. I started running, I didn't want to look back at that house. It help to many painful memories. I was ready to start my life over by myself. But little did I know what was in store for me.

A/n: Ya woooo this story sucks. Im sorry it was so long. I really had no clue how to start this. Doubt ill finish it. Well maybe if yall comment and wanna see what happens next ill do it. Please let me know what you think.....
<3 ~Cindy