DANDELIONS || Namjin & Sope

CHAPTER 1: DREAMS

"babe... Joonie", It's him. It is him, I could recognise his voice anywhere. I tried opening my-... My eyes are opened. So why can't I see him?. It's so cold in this room, so cold and so dark.

"Joonie please look at me~" he said almost as if begging me to hold him and never let go. He cupped my face and all I can see is his dark body figure. But I know it's him. "Seokjin please... please step out of this shadow? I- I miss you, I'm so sorry" I'm shaking and crying now. He wiped the tears that ran down my face.

"Baby it wasn't your fault... Wake up please" Jin pleaded which had me a little confused because his voice sounded more feminine. Now his hands on my face felt cold. So uncomfortable as if they had thorns all over them.

A face suddenly, slowly emerged from this dark figure. A smile disappeared on my face, disappointed.

"Honey are you okay? It's the nightmare again", Amber slightly shook my body. Although concern was laced in her voice, disappointment was written all over her face, yeah I'm also disappointed in myself.

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God knows how much I'd like to avoid Amber right now, but I gotta dance to the rhythm of my own music.

I sighed as I stepped out of the closet, took longer than usual to get dressed for obvious reasons. I walked down the stairs and found Amber in the kitchen... making... pancakes? Whatever she calls those things in the plate. She really can't cook to save her life.

I slowly walked towards her, I leaned forward to peck her cheek but she backs away not even sparing me a glance. Oh for fuck's sake! God help me explain my way out of this one, AGAIN!

"Hey" I said trying to ease the tension, she turns and just walks to the fridge ignoring me. I walked right behind her, grabbed her waist and turned her to face me. "I'm sorry okay? You know that was unintentional. I'm trying and I'm getting help".

She forced her way out of my grip and went back to her pan. "Namjoon, when will you except that he's gone? huh? Seokjin is dead Namjoon!" She said aggressively flipping those things in the pan. "You keep crying over him every single night it's getting exhausting now" okay that's harsh.

"You don't need to be so mean about this Amber, it's just nightmare I have no control over and-"

"Yeah? Nightmares huh?! Didn't you moan out his name just the other night?!" Amber shouted as she slammed the spatula on the counter.

"Ambz I-..."
"Don't fucking call me that!" She paused as a deep sigh left her lips. "Look Namjoon, I know this is merely just an arrangement marriage, I know you have no control over the nightmares you keep having. But I really like you and I want us to work. It's been 6 years already. Let him go."

I ran my hand through my hair as I sigh and pull her into a hug. She doesn't deserve this. I do like her too, she's a great woman. But is it so wrong to want to keep a certain part of my heart just for Jin? I'm still stuck in the past, I still want him, I-I still love him... So much.

"I know, I'm sorry" I said running my hand on her back. "I'm running late, I better go before Taehyung drags me out of here, you know him".

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Hi babies, I hope you'll enjoy this story. Expect anything, ask anything and comment please.