How Typical

Chapter 7

    It's been about a month since Zach's party, a month since I'd spoken to Tyler, and a month since I could go a single day without him on my mind.

    Some days, I was livid that he could say all the things he said to me like he didn't just brush me off at every pass or like he put any effort into a relationship with me. But most days, I felt inexplicably guilty.

    Tyler had gone through a lot in his past and is obviously going through something now, though I have no idea what. As much of an inconsiderate jerk as he is, I don't think anyone should have to go through a hard time alone. And this was the battle going on within me. Part of me knew I should put my issues with him aside and try to be there for him but the imaginary guards protecting the emotional wall I'd built up over the years kept yelling at that part of me to shut the hell up.

    Then there were the occasional days that I was just pissed off to be spending so much time dwelling on this sense of moral obligation I felt toward him in the first place but that in itself was what was wrong with this entire situation.

    I didn't have a moral obligation to Tyler.

    He wasn't my responsibility. He decided he didn't need me in middle school. To be more accurate, he just didn't want me. He was no longer my friend so his feelings were no longer my concern. From the time he threw our friendship out the door until now, I assumed he had made at least one friend he could tell all his frivolous secrets to while they braided each other's hair since he is Mr. Popular. So why did I have to care?

    I had no reason to be so concerned about his problems and as I made this revelation, I vowed that I wouldn't.

    I pushed myself up from my recline and looked around my room, deciding I needed to get my mind off of him and distract myself. I had no good books to read, no homework to do and I was done thinking about Tyler.

    Rifling through my nightstand drawer, I found a notepad and a pen and started a list.

    Things to do before I graduate:

    -go on a road trip   

    -get a hobby

    -collect and read classic literature

    -beat Bas at soccer

   -have an amazing time in France

    I looked up from the notepad and tried to think of anything else I might want to add to my list. I'd never been much of a bucket list person but it was becoming clear to me that I needed to have more things to do than sit around obsessing over people I didn't like and letting my hatred of all people fester.

    Before I put my notepad away, I scribbled one last thing on the list.

   -stop obsessing over Tyler

    I set the list on top of my nightstand as I lay back down on my bed and let my mind wander to the pending trip to France. It was still four months away but as of right now, it was the best thing I had to look forward to.

    I heard a vague noise and perked up to try and figure out what it was. The pang sounded again and this time, I could tell it was clearly coming from the window. When I heard it again, my interest was peeked and I went over to the ledge to see what was hitting my window repeatedly.

    I looked down to see Bas standing under my window with a handful of mulch from my mother's garden. Shaking my head, I pushed the panel out and stuck my head out to greet him.