AFTERTASTE

chapter one

Sweating bodies were gathered on a small area that appears to be a small stage. Well, what a good place to show my awkward dancing skills! I was swaying my hips down provocatively, biting my nails pretending to be Victoria Secret Model when in all honesty I look like the next villain on American Horror Story. But, I need to forget that for a minute.

This beat is controling my body, this is so much fun. What was I doing with my life!? If you ask me, I was this cunt who locks herself up in a room with her Mac and a box of pizza. I was happy and content with it. Concealing the pain deep within me, covering the bruises and cuts with pizza slices. But, I felt something inside of me. Something, uncontrollable, scary, dark, and it was pure agony. Depression? That is the first thing my parents thought too. BUT I WAS JUST REALLY HUNGRY.

I loved this feeling, no not being high and being horny. Can you blame me? These guys are sizzling hot! But the feeling I'm talking about is where you forget for a while, even for a while. Pretending to be okay is my forte, but it was never easy. The worst part of pretending is when you, yourself, believe your own lies! It's when you can barely distinguish the difference between truth and lies.

♬ Stand my days locked up in a haze trying to forget you babe. I fall back down. I got to stay high all my life to forget I'm missing you. ♬

And that's my anthem playing right here, at the right time. Wow. And it slapped me, no not like the cliche movies. It slapped me with Hulks green big hands. I am lonely, I am hurt, I am broken, I am bruised, and I am hungry. Raising my vodka on my left hand, I screamed my lungs out and people started to scream too. With that being said, I lunged the bitter liquid and took a big bite of my pizza. I told you I'm hungry and besides pretending to be okay when to be honest you are not, it does require a lot of energy!

♬ Staying in my play pretend where the fun ain't got no end. Can't go home alone again, need someone to numb the pain. ♬

As if on cue the people got wilder, I was enjoying it but then I felt the need to pee. Screw my urinary system!

I rolled an endless ply of tissue onto my hands and placed it on the toilet bowl. It was really hard to concentrate though. Albeit my head was spinning, I managed to apply the tissue on. I laughed diabolicaly looking at my art work. I sure did sound like an ancient witch perfectly brewed her mischievous spells. Feeling relieved anddd triumphant, I flushed down with the help of my killer heels.

Well, surely I'm not the only one. Picking up the tissues, I clearly am sober now. Looking at the little trash trash bin, I put on my Lebron James aura and stared at the bin as if it was a ring begging to be scored. I threw the tissue ball with the minimal space between, I scored 10! I squealed in victory but I composed myself quickly and opened the door of this tight cubicle. I was a bit shocked when a super model looking woman stood in front of me.

"Are you done? I really need to urinate." The resistance was evident on her pefect face. At least, she's not the type of girl where she'll poke you in the eye with her baby finger for making her wait. She still manages to look like a million dollar face even with this kind of situation. I swear, if I were to be in her place I will look definitely like a baffoon standing in front of a cubicle waiting to be fed with a banana. And may I add the weird noises and awkward giggles when my urinary bladder is likely to explode.

"Oh sure, sorry to keep you waiting." I smiled sheepishly at the fine looking lady. I walked towards the sink and stared myself at the mirror. Oh, what a mess! That's the thing about mirrors, objects are uglier than they appear. I feel a bit betrayed when for a moment I thought I was hot, then reality hit me hard, with a frying pan.

I washed my hands with the red handsoap hanging on the wall, strawberry my favorite. I put my hands at the hand dryer, the sound from the machine echoed throughtout the comfort room. Oh yeah, I am so ready to party!! But... I need to drink first, I think I urinated every liquor in my body. So, I got out of the powder room and passed through the sweaty bodies that seems to be dancing wildly for my liking. I sat on the stool bar and ordered something hard. Yes, I wanna be wasted as hell and crawl like a tarantula because of my drunkeness. As my shot glass was on sight, I downed it quickly. My throat was burned and my tongue was stinged by the bitter liquid I just downed like milk. I wanted to puke, to throw up, to vomit but I didn't want to look weak, not anymore.