Lilly Syndrome

Day Zero

Most people don't remember the first thing they ever saw. I remember, though. I remember everything from day zero until now - ten years of crystal clear memory.

The first thing I ever saw was red.

I suppose I must have left the curtains open the night before, because the sun blazed through my eyelids and warmed my skin uncomfortably. All other senses, however, were overridden by the all-consuming pounding in my head. Bile rose in my throat and I tried not to move, hoping the nausea would subside, but I retched and leaned over the side of the bed, heaving until my muscles burned. I rolled onto my back on the bed, wiping bile from my lips and waiting for the fatigue to pass. Eventually, I willed myself to get up and find the bathroom to clean myself up.

I stumbled over to the sink and roughly pulled the tap on, cupping water in my hands and throwing it onto my face. Suddenly, I raised my eyes and-

A girl was staring back at me. I know now that it was me, but that first time I saw my reflection it was as unfamiliar to me as you are. The girl's movements mirrored my own - she touched her face when I did, ran her hands through her hair and contorted her face in identical movements. Having confirmed it was my reflection, I looked closer, absorbing every detail of a face that should have been instantly recognisable.

There was no single thing I could pinpoint about my looks that I disliked - my eyes were grey and almond shaped, with the faintest smear of eyeliner. My hair was long and brown and smelt of vanilla and roses. Freckles like brown sugar were scattered over my cheeks and the bridge of my nose. However, I disliked the composition as a whole - I looked simply unremarkable.

I pulled up my thin pyjama top to see what the rest of me looked like, and was gratified to see that where nature had failed me, nurture had succeeded. My body looked like it was straight out of a workout magazine, and my stomach was rock hard when I tensed my abs.

"Niceee," I drawled happily as I discovered that my assets were slightly bigger than those of the women in said workout magazines.

My discovery had sparked my interest in the serious issue of my identity. I had no idea who I was, apart from the fact I was toned as hell. I returned to my bedroom, wrinkling my nose at the smell of vomit, and looked around the bare room for clues. I caught sight of a very fat envelope on the bedside table, and ripped it open, eyes widening as a cascade of documents fell into my lap.

I picked up the passport and looked at the emblem on the front - an emu and kangaroo below a tree. Australian, I guess. Flipping to the ID page, I saw a picture of my face, and the name, 'Lilith Summers'. I had a feeling there were negative connotations concerning the name Lilith, but I ignored it. I had a name.

"Lilith." I experimented. "Lilith. Lil-ith. Lil. Lili- Lilly."

"Lilly." I liked the sound. "Lilly Summers."

I looked through the other documents, but they told me only dates and names. There was no hint of my soul on those freshly printed pages.

I turned my attention to the new-looking suitcase at the foot of the bed. The lock on the zippers was unset, and I opened the case eagerly. The inside looked fairly unremarkable - several YA novels, some neatly folded clothes, and a phone. I picked up the phone, and read the sticky note on the screen, which had only one word - OPEN.

Removing the sticky note, I entered the word into the keypad and smiled at the resulting clicking sound. I noticed the phone's background was a generic from the stills album.

I opened the contacts app, and was surprised to discover no friendly contacts with weird inside-joke nicknames, no 'mum' or 'dad'. All the contacts were businesslike and as soulless as the documents I had discovered earlier. None of them had any pictures.  

As I scrolled through the contacts, a message appeared, from 'Saanvi Jahveri'. It read, "Take the 08:00 TGV to Marseilles - I believe you need some re-orientation. I'll take care of signing out of the hotel. Bring your bags."

I looked at the clock. 07:00. I could investigate further on the train.