just little something

Bandu x Depressed!reader

It was morning, you knew it was. You could tell because there was a slight shine of the sun through the curtains in your room. Your boyfriend, Bandu was staying at your house because him and his brother go into a really bad argument.

You were the one how had to deal with the end of everything, it was exhausting. But, you got to spend more time with him so that was a plus!

You had someone to make sure you were safe. It was true that you weren't in the best headspace for months. You used to cut yourself, (A/n: if you really are cutting and hurting yourself please stop and talk to someone, people do care about your safety and you don't need to hurt yourself) tried to kill yourself more than you can count and all those memories came flooding back.

You being alone is what made you think of them, you never wanted to go back to those times. Bandu had never found out and you never told him. There were mini scars over your whole body and he noticed all of them. It was nice to know he pays attention to everything about you but also it was hard to explain them to him.

Every thought was cut off when you heard a loud bang it your kitchen.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" you whisper-yelled to not wake him up but that had failed.

You rushed out to the rest of your house/apartment/whatever the fuck you live in and turned into the kitchen hoping nothing and or no one has hurt and broken.

You sigh very audibly being thankful that it was just someone banging on your front door (you walk into the kitchen when you enter the living thing...)

"Hello?"

"Here's your mail Y/n!"

"Thanks!"

You shut the door and pinch the bridge of your nose in slight anger for him waking up both of you.

"Y/n, who was that? I heard you talking to someone." Bandu asked you in groggy morning voice

"mailman" you replied with an annoyed tone in your voice.

"Ok,"

you started to walk back to your room to put on actual clothes and your eyes were half closed so you ran into a wall super hard and tumbled onto the floor.

"AAH! god damnit!"

You felt something dripping down your face and realized that your nose was bleeding. Bandu rushed over to you to make sure you were ok after hearing the thud when you fell.

He helped you get up and walked you to the bathroom to clean you up.

"Y/n are you serious?!"

"What!? I was walking!"

"With your eyes half closed? or fully closed?"

"Fully." You admitted soft and low.

"I told you! Stop! doing! that!! one day you might get hurt even worst! I don't want that to happen to you! I love you! Since I'm doing this anyways is there anywhere else?"

"No, I'm fine."

"You never told me how you got all of those scars on your arms and legs." he states as he touches your arm and slowly glides his hand down your arm.

"I didn't want to tell you because I don't want to worry you!"

"What, were you abused? something like that?"

"No," you say while exhaling deeply

"You can tell me anything! I'm here for you! if you need to talk I'm all ears..."

"I should've told you before, I used to cut myself badly, draw blood every time. Bloody tissues were everywhere... I remember the first time it hurt but as I did it more it did feel like anything. It was just a daily part of my routine after school. I was badly bullied and no one nor anything made it better-" you interrupted yourself by crying.

you continued "I never got the courage to walk up to my parents and ask for help, even though I needed it. I've had too many su!cide attempts. I had lost count by the time I had first talked to you. You did help for a short amount for time but everything went bad to normal after it. I just wish for everything to go back to normal!" Now your crying had turned into full-on sobbing and your shirt was getting a damp spot by the neck.

In the blink of an eye you were being held by Bandu while you heard little sniffles from him. Bandu being the sympathetic person he is he felt all your pain. I was like a arrow to the heart for him, to know every little pain that you have been through just by looking at your body was horrible. You didn't think you would tell him ever, let alone today!

"Hey, it's ok! I'm fine, there's no reason to cry darling." he tried to sound reassuring but it didn't end well.

"Y/N, YOU'RE TELLING ME ALL OF THIS AND SAYING IT'S NOTHING?! THAT'S SERIOUS! Why didn't you tell me before." As he was yelling he started to go softer with his volume not to make you scared of something of the sorts. (I would be fine with him yelling at me... PEROSNALLY!)

He held you tighter not wanting to let go. You didn't think he would care that much, you were just a stupid child and the scars were just a result of that stupidity. You wish you made different choices but you didn't. you never tried. Mental illness was never really talked about then, it never really was as popular as now. Now people are faking them are clout which is FUCKING STUPID! you know so many people suffering with things that people take as a joke and the jokes are fucking sick.

But that's not the point, it's not about other people it's about if you feel comfortable.

"Y/n! please! never do any of that again! I love you and I don't think I could deal with you having a chance of you not being in it. I wouldn't have it in me to continue! Please don't, you can talk to me whenever you need! Even if I'm doing something I'll stop if you need me!"

"It's nice to know that you care this much, it makes me feel better. I haven't in a while and I don't plan on doing it again."

He puts you down but still hugs you resting his head on your shoulder.

"I love you~"

Before you could say anything back he picks you up bridal style

"AAAA! You should've warned me!"

"No :]"

He walked to your room and threw you on the bed.

"Ow!"

":]''

He jumps in to bed with you and immediately he hugs you and snuggles into your chest and sighs loudly.

you two eventually fall asleep again...

I'm done because I'm lazy and running out of ideas for this :) have a good day/night/afternoon

tschüss <3