Classroom of the Elite - Talent Special Exam

Reflection

It had been an hour since the end of the performance. Ayanokoji didn't linger on his thoughts or feelings from the time, but what he did do was go on a walk. He didn't have a destination, he just wandered around wherever the wind took him.

Eventually he ended up by the water looking out onto the ocean. The city was bright with light and color even during the night. There was no lights out for a city that was always awake. He sat down on a bench nearby and stared off across the water. The colors reflected in a wavy pattern that went along with the current of the ocean. In the past he had felt similar to an object in the water's current, going wherever he was pushed without resistance. He just floated without a soul in the world knowing he existed. No one would stop to think about a single object floating in the ocean, the possibility of it existing.

Now that wasn't the case. He had the freedom to choose which way he wanted to go and fight against the current. He had the opportunity to be free, a state of freedom where people cared about him and he got to make his own decisions on how he wanted to live his life.

"Free." He wasn't really free. He couldn't really fight back forever. Someone will eventually lose the will to fight against the current, the ocean is too big and powerful after all. That person will sink to the bottom and not emerge, because there's no way they can. The weight and pressure of the ocean is overwhelming, so all they can do is drown. He knew this fact well, and he accepted it. He knew this fact because he had used it against several people at this very school already.

To watch over the surface of the water while knowing that his fate lay in the depths felt oddly relaxing. He was at ease with his situation. In the past, he had already accepted a life without ever getting the freedom he secretly desired unbeknownst to those who only viewed him as a machine that complied with every order. Getting to experience freedom when it seemed so far away, even for an instant, even for three years, that feeling was better than he could have ever imagined. But he didn't mind going back after he graduated so much anymore.

While he was lost in thought, he heard a familiar tapping sound against the pavement that seemed to be approaching him. Ayanokoji shifted his gaze over to the approaching figure. Her face was shrouded by the dark, but even as she slowly moved forward he knew that it was a small smile of amusement that rested on her face.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Sakayanagi asked.

"Yes, it is."

"I suppose that even after almost two years the sights of this campus won't get old for you," she stated. He didn't need to respond, they both acknowledged that this kind of moment shouldn't be contaminated with excess words. It was true though, he couldn't possibly get bored of seeing the same place every day. The seasons changed, there was nature around him where the wind blew to gently sway the leaves, and he was no longer isolated. Things changed, people changed.

Ayanokoji was sitting in the center of the bench, but scooted over to give Sakayanagi some room to sit down. She thanked him with a light nod and sat down next to him, propping her cane up using the bench.

They didn't exchange words for around ten minutes, just sitting in silence with the space around them filled only with the sounds of nighttime on campus. That was the case until the girl next to him broke the silence.

"I'm interested in what you will do next. Your motives for suddenly revealing your true self... I wonder what they could be." She looked over to him, the smile on her face growing more teasing. It seemed that she had somewhat of an idea, but his own next actions could not yet be determined without observing what his own class's reaction would be.

"I wonder that too."

"You're not worried at all? I would assume not since it seems that you've been planning this for quite some time."

"There's nothing to worry about. The extra attention is just going to be a bit uncomfortable for me is all." That's really all there was to it, nothing out of the ordinary.

Her eyes looked far in the distance towards the tall buildings that lined the coast. They almost put her in a trance for a moment. "Pursuing your own goals, that's what you came to this school for. Pursuing freedom. This is one way of grasping a hold of that. If anything, all I genuinely wish for is your own happiness with the decision you choose." She sent an almost forlorn glance his way before taking her time to get up. She turned away from the ocean and faced him. "I just hope you remember that I'm the only one who has the right to defeat you." She left him with one final smile of amusement before walking away, presumably towards the dorms.

Ayanokoji accepted her parting words. He didn't care who defeated him, he just wanted it to happen. He wanted to be defeated so that in proxy his father would be defeated. Only then would his time at this school be fully satisfying. But he supposed it wouldn't be that bad if he left without that happening. It would be disappointing, sure, but he still had things to look back on. Happy memories...was happy the right word? Bright memories would be a better way of describing them, he didn't attach any happiness with them.

Ayanokoji looked back up at the moon. It was a full moon tonight, but it was also much clearer than the day prior. The moon being full made a bright reflection of the imperfect object glaze across the water. The stars faded into the background of the night sky with the light pollution from the city in the distance.

Maybe in the future, he would learn happiness and eventually associate that feeling with the memories he made there. Maybe there would come a day where he could stand under this sky and feel happy. There would be a day where he would have to say goodbye to the illusions of hope that occasionally lingered in his mind. He knew that day would arrive faster than he knew it.

The sky would be gone from his life after graduation.