Buttercream's untold

Your worst nightmare

You slowly opened your eyes to blinding lights
You don't remember much but you did have a banging headache
Your hand bandaged up and itchy
You remember vaguely being sat on a boat in the park on the lake
You were laid down
You were finding it hard to see
You were finding it hard to breath
Your knees stinging
There was a very unpleasant smell coming from you but that was the last of your worries
You had limited arm and leg movement and your jaw hurt but at least you were alive
You tried to sit up but you couldn't, your body weak, your arms and legs heavy, your head pounding at every movement and you stomach doing somersaults
You blinked a couple of times and focused on your breathing
That's when you heard a door open
"Aw is the light too bright for you? Is it hurting your eyes?"
Josh scowled
"Mhmmm"
"Would you like me to turn it off?"
"Yes please" you whispered as you'd lost your voice
"That's a shame isn't it" josh choked
The light infact got brighter
The tears started to pour out of your eyes as they started to burn and sting from the light
"You better not be torturing her josh"Alfie spat
"Turn the lights down are you trying to blind her?" Mikey choked
You were so confused
You didn't know where you were or what time it was all you knew is you didn't feel well and you couldn't move
Zoe knelt down beside you
"Are you okay?"
She spoke softly
You took a deep breath and sighed slightly
"Not really" you replied weakly
"Zoe I'm so so sorry I just I panicked earlier I didn't mean to scare you" you sobbed
"It's okay I know it must be scary for you, I forgive you" Zoe replied softly and she gave you a soft smile
She then turned to Alfie and questioned him
"Alfie can I at least sit her up and clean her up?"
Alfie looked at Zoe with a halfhearted glance
"I guess so, just don't untie her"
Zoe slowly sat you up and your vision started to clear
There was a good few people looking at you none of which were joe or Caspar
Your stomach started to knot and you dreaded what was to come
Zoe cleaned your knees up and washed your face
She got you some clean clothes and helped you change
She got you some pain relief and a glass of water
But you still felt incredibly sick
Your head was spinning
Your vision all over the place and it was at that moment Zoe's phone started to ring
Zoe and Alfie looked at eachother for a second
"It's your brother" Alfie then exclaimed
Joe
It was joe
You looked from Zoe to Alfie
"Do you want me to get it?" Alfie questioned
Zoe nodded
"I'll put it on speaker" Alfie mouthed
"Now bro" he chimes down the phone
"Oh hey alfie is zo with you?" Joe replied
Just hearing his voice settled you but now you felt like you were going to vomit everywhere
You started to loose your breath
The colour fading from your skin
"Yeah she is man but she's busy at the moment" Alfie replied
"Ah no bother will you get her to call me back when she's done? I just wanted to ask her something"
"Sure thing man unless you want me to pass the message on?"
Joe paused
He was obviously thinking about it
"You can do if you would man?"
Joe questioned
"If you're sure that okay?"
"Go ahead buddy I'm all ears"
"Will you ask her if she's spoke or seen y/n please? I'm getting kinda worried I've been messaging her and calling her but I've got nothing back! I feel bad for freaking out at her and I don't know what else to do. I'm worried in case she hates me now"
That broke you
You could feel your body start to tremble but in fact you didn't hate him
You loved him
You should of just been honest with the poor boy
Now you were sat listening to him break his heart on the phone and you couldn't do anything about it because you were stuck
You'd been kidnapped by people who claimed to love joe
But now hated you for climbing out of his window
You looked at Zoe and she looked at you
You could feel your chest getting tighter and tighter to the point you could feel a panic attack coming on
Not now
Not of all times why now
You closed your eyes and tried to think happy thoughts and that's when you felt a hand on your back
You jumped slightly after being startled and you slowly opened your eyes to see Zoe rubbing your back gently
Your chest started to loosen as joe and Alfie continued their conversation like nothing had ever happened and that's when you felt the sick start to rise from your stomach
"Zoe" you whispered
"Yeah?" She whispered back
"I think maybe I'm going to be" but before you could finish your sentence you started being sick
You're one of those people who throws up quietly but violently
Zoe got up and grabbed a bowl, a towel and a hair tie
She pulled your hair out of your face and tied it up while holding the bucket for you to be sick in and rubbing your back in circles
Everyone now starring at you
"Alfie? Are you still there?" A very concerned and confused Joe questioned
"Yeah man can I uh call you back kinda got a slight problem here"
"Oh? What's that?" Joe questioned
Alfie looked from jack to josh to mikey to Zoe and then to you
Zoe looked at Alfie as in to say tell him
"Bro? Can I be honest with you?" Panic arose from his voice into the phone down the line to joe
"Uh yeah sure I guess? What's up?"
Joe was confused but he was bound to be right?
"Don't hate us man"
"Why would I hate you? Alfie? What the fuck is going on" a now annoyed joe chimed down the phone
"I don't know how to tell you this mate? Is Caspar with you?"
"Yeah, he's down stairs let me shout him"
You heard joe trail off and shout for Caspar
You heard him explaining that Alfie was on the phone and he had something to tell you both
You could hear Caspar asking what and Joe responding confused
"Hey man Caspar here" Caspar chimes down the phone
"Hey buddy can you both hear me?"
"Loud and clear boss" Caspar choked
Alfie looked from you to Zoe
A worried look across both of your faces
"You know y/n?"
"Yeah" they both chimed
He mouthed an im sorry towards you
You felt your body run cold
You could feel your world collapsing around you
You took a deep breath and slowly closed your eyes now you'd stopped being sick
"Alfie? Have you heard from her?" Joe choked
"Please tell me you have" Caspar then jumped in
"Yeah man we've met her and we've spoke to her"
"Where is she bro?" Joe questioned
Now this is where you knew Alfie was going to lie
You knew he wasn't going to tell Joe what he'd put you through and where you were
You could feel your eyes starting to well up as a tear escaped and ran down your face
"She was supposed to be getting on a plane to go home, hence her climbing out your window she just didn't know how to tell you"
Okay he's just told the truth maybe you will see Joe again and maybe he won't hate you as much as you thought
"Omg no way? Oh shit now I feel like a dick head! I wish she'd pick up the bloody phone"
"She won't pick up the phone man" Alfie butted in
"Why not?" Joe questioned rather quickly
"She smashed her phone out of rage"
"How do you know all this?" Joe asked confused
Alfie looked at you and then at Zoe and then back to you
"Because she's here joe" he then blurted out
And the phone line went dead
"At yours and Zoe's" joe then choked
"Yeah" Alfie replied softly
"Can I come see her?" Joe quickly responded
You looked at Alfie and shook your head no
"Alfie? I'm coming anyway"
"Wait joe there's something I need to tell you before you come" Alfie choked out as quickly as he could
"What's that?"
"I just want you to know that I'm really really sorry"
There was that pause again
"What did you do?" Joe then choked
"You were gutted Joe, she really hurt you and"
Alfie was cut off by joe stepping in to say
"Please don't tell me you've hurt her?"
The phone went silent again
"Alfie?"
Joe choked
"Answer me"
He was getting more annoyed at the second
"What've you done to her man" Caspar then stepped in
You and Alfie looked at eachother for a moment
Alfie looked at Zoe and Zoe looked at him with sad eyes
"I told you not too, I told you he'd be furious" Zoe whispered
"I'm going to kill you the moment I get my hands on you Alfie" joe screamed
"Joe calm down or you're not seeing her at all" Alfie choked
You could feel the tension in the room and you hated it
It made you think back to when you used to watch your mam and dad argue while you sat in a corner and rocked back and forth and you hated it
You hated all of this
You just wanted to be happy
You wanted to see Joe
And you most definitely wanted to be untied from this chair
"Zoe" you whispered
"What's wrong?" She asked panicked
"Let me talk to him?"
"Who joe?"
You nodded
You could hear Joe screaming at Alfie down the phone
"I can try calm him down"
Zoe nodded and took a walk towards Alfie
She took the phone from his hand and spoke a soft hello
"Zo?" Joe questioned
"Hi broseph" she chimed softly
"Omg Zoe hello, are you okay? What has Alfie done to y/n? Please give me some answers sis"
Joe begged
"Do you want to talk to her?" Zoe asked
"Y/n? Yes please"
"Okay but promise me something?" Zoe pleaded
"Anything zo what is it?" Joe responded
"Promise me you'll calm down and if you are coming here to see us and y/n for that matter don't freak out"
The phone went quite for a second and you heard Caspar choke "say something man"
"Okay I promise on the condition I can see y/n when I get there"
Zoe looked at Alfie and then at you
"You can joe yeah"
You heard the sigh of relief from the other end of the phone and that's when he choked
"Thank god, okay put her on please"
Zoe looked at you and smiled
She sat down beside you and held the phone for you as you couldn't do it yourself
"Hello?" Joe choked
"Hi Joe" you responded
"Hi y/n"
"Hi Joe" you repeated yourself
"Hi y/n" Caspar chimed in
"Hi cas"
"Y/n?" Joe questions
"Yeah?"
"Are you okay?"
You could feel yourself getting upset but hearing his voice worked wonders on you
"I'm okay joe" you lied
"You promise?" His voice a little shaky
"I promise joe"
"Are you hurt" he questioned
You looked from Zoe to Alfie to mikey
Mikey encouraged you to tell him
"A little" you choked
"Where are you hurt love?" Joe spoke softly against the phone
"I cut my hand on my phone when it smashed and then I almost drowned in the lake at the park and both my knees hurt but I think I'll be okay, I just keep feeling sick and hallucinating a lot so if I'm not making sense I'm sorry" you blurted out
"I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect you" joe choked
"It's okay joe it's not your fault" you reassured him
You heard Caspar asking Joe something but you didn't quite catch it
"What was that?" You questioned
"Oh Caspar was just asking me to ask you if you wanted to move in with us?"
You felt your heart melt against your chest and you couldn't be happier but at the same time you were still gutted about what you'd been through and what they'd said to you
"Y/n? Are you still there?" Joe asked
"Yeah I'm still here I just don't feel very well"
Your headache had picked back up and your eyes were hurting
"What's wrong?" Joe choked panicked
"I just I feel sick and I've got headache and I miss you" you blurted out as Alfie and Zoe looked at eachother
"Joe do you want us to come get you?" Jack asked
"Nah man we're good we're coming to you as we speak cheers tho" joe replied
"Y/n love?" Joe spoke softly?
"Yeah?"
"Just hold on okay? We'll be there soon" joe replied
"Okay joe, I'll see you soon I hope" you spoke softly
"You will indeed were coming okay?"
"Okay!"
"Zoe" joe then choked
"Yeah broseph?"
"Do me a massive one?" Joe asked
"What's that?" Zoe questioned
"Take y/n to my room and put her in my bed, as soon as I'm there that's the first place I'm going because I need a cuddle" joe choked
You felt your body warm up at least he didn't hate you but you were scared he was going to absolutely loose his shit when he saw the state of you
Zoe took you upstairs as Alfie finished up the phone call
Zoe ran you a nice hot bubble bath
Zoe cleaned you up and made you smell good
She got you changed into clean underwear and a tshirt of joes
She got you into bed, gave you some more painkillers and a glass of water and she laid you down softly
Now you just had to wait for joe and caspars arrival
You slowly closed your eyes as you couldn't bare the light much longer
Your head started to ease and you felt your eyes getting heavy
You took a deep breath and exhaled until you body started to relax
You knew the next time you opened your eyes you'd be met with joe sugg staring right back at you or so you hoped