Casper

Chapter One

It was October 14th, 2023, Casper, who was 15 at the time, seemed happy, smiling, and energetic even. He was my best friend, I'm Mara, Casper's first-ever real friend. On this day Casper and I went out with other friends Julia, Max, Axel, and Luis we all went out for coffee and a couple of snacks. Casper looked amazing as always with his brown pants and his frog shirt, he had a sort of cozy fall but cottage-core vibe to him. We were all having fun, nothing seemed off, that was until Casper gave us all something special of his. For example, I got his favorite sweater, a frog sweater with a hood that zips closed. Max got a bracelet with Casper's name on it, they made it for him. The other three didn't get anything till a few days after.

We should have realized then that things were off with Casper, he wasn't acting normal, he was off. It wasn't like Casper to be energetic and overly happy, it was different. Of course, none of us thought something was wrong, we all figured therapy was working for Casper, but obviously, it wasn't. When we went out for coffee Casper got his usual, plain black coffee, he always was the odd one out of our group, but we never complained, that was our favorite thing about him. I still can't believe he drank that stuff though, it was like drinking dirt straight from the ground.

Casper was drinking his coffee, not listening to us, I still wonder what was going on inside of his head that day. Was he thinking about what was going to happen just four days after? What if he thought that none of us would care? I don't know what was going on in his head that day, but he looked exhausted, tired too.

After we were done with coffee we went shopping, Casper doesn't like to say it but he loves shopping specifically at Spencer's. When we walked into the store it was like watching a kid in a candy store, Casper got lots of things, but the sad thing was, none of it was for him.

I remember on the 15th that Casper looked worse, he looked like he had died already and came back as a zombie or something. He was pale and he was drained, I don't think have ever seen him like this before in my life. I wanted to grab him by the shoulders and ask him what was wrong, but I just couldn't. 

I was a coward, unfortunately, that was my issue. You know, I was in Casper's suicide note? My part read as follows, 

"Mara, 

              You are my best friend, but it doesn't seem like you cared, I gave everything for you, you gave nothing. When I came to you for help, you were too high to understand my words. But, I forgive you. 

 I do not blame you for my suicide, but I wish that you were there for me like I was there for you. I still think of you as my best friend, you are very close to me. Please, do not blame yourself for this. 

I love you, Mara, 

Goodbye. "

I will never forget that letter.