Nameless Book

Untitled Part 2

honestly you aren't weird for saying what you wanna yk? like it's only offensive if you like to say some out of pocket shit to the other person with or without understanding where they're coming from. 

Being the person that has to see both sides and get the best glance out the window is kinda hard when you dont want to hurt anyone else who's trying to look out that window as well. Sometimes im the middle man and sometimes im the fog on the window that gets wiped away. 
music is therapy tbh. We listen to music when we are hurt or just want to listen to it to vibe or calm down (i know i said the same thing there)

everyone is coping in different ways. I used to make a bar code out of my arm a phrase my brother uses for it. but yea i did that to help it "go away" or just try to make me feel better about whatever situation i was in. it was okay for a little like it felt okay and then i got caught by a friend who really wasnt a friend at the time but i was getting to know her.

we were getting in the pool because we had aquatics and when i had gotten in a little later the scab had softened up and it as white and peeling. she had seen it but didnt tell me. Actually she didnt call me out on it she just didnt say anything, i only really know that now because she told me when i brought it up about 6 months into our friendship.

I am surely grateful for her yes i am. i used to like her. but i had to get over that because she had a boyfriend (who was just a bitch and thank god they broke up) but yea music i forgot i was typing this thing about that. wait no it wasnt music. it was ah nevermind that.

yk i wonder how people actually love. like how do you know that you LOVE someone not like the sappy old "their smile lights up the room" or "protective over the person" type stuff im talking about the way your brain just decides that THAT person is going to someday be your wife/husband/partner for as long as it lasts. we all know that theres SOMETHING calling the shots out here. (another topic i will leave in the dust because i have no other thought that tickles my damn brain about it)

I feel bad for people that just want to be heard yes im going back to what i was first thinking when i made this "untitled part" you all know that nagging feeling to get your thoughts out and in order to whomever you're trying to talk to. no? yes? maybe? idfk i dont make the rules of the brain society or whatever.
Just saying when you want to be heard and you arent given that couple minutes or hour to say what you want it gets pissy and there's a tight feeling in your throat, the burning in your nose and eyes yk then there comes the "so sensitive" etc comments.

i hate those types of comments like no-one asked you to say anything. im pretty sure you get the same way when your guardian slightly raises their voice at you or your told to get off the game for a single hour- oh wow 


he texted me and sent reels and man that just made a little glow happen behind my eyelids i really dont know another way to say that but i like that little spark behind my eyelids that i get.if i didnt say that i probably wouldve just said "pink feeling" i should've just said that instead but yea he sent me things and its just enough to get my mind out of where it is right now. 


i dont care enough to fix the punctuation errors or whatever here and it's 11 am let me sleep something many people cant seem to do and yes i am thankful for that power i was granted with.


night yall (idk when your reading this)
thanks for reading this in the first place tho.

//R//