chrysanthemums - xingyun

broken vase shards on wooden tiles

There was squealing outside Xingqiu's room. Whether it was one of the maids, his brother, or his mother, he didn't know. His head was throbbing too much. He's heard it hundreds of times over, yet it manages to send chills down his spine every single time.

A glass was heard shattering into a million pieces. Just like Xingqiu would soon.

To distract himself, Xingqiu gripped his dried-up quill making it was a miracle it didn't snap. He looked over at the locked window besides him. It was a snowy day, perfect for practicing sword art indoors. However, Xingqiu's father had locked him in the mansion until he finished the guild's paperwork. He hazily looked back down at the half-finished document before his eyes shot back open in dismay. Xingqiu hadn't realized how he knocked the ink bottle onto the parchment until it was too late. The black ink had spread had spread across the paper making it unreadable. He slapped himself and crumbled the ruined document, shooting it at the trash bin, narrowly missing. He groaned and cussed himself out in his head. His handwriting had been so neat too...

He sighed and looked outside. Regular children were playing and giggling in the street. He wondered how it must have felt to roam free with other Liyue children instead of working on guild matters with his brother, being a absolute stranger to the sun. A dove flew over and landed at the window-side. Oh, what Xingqiu wouldn't do be a dove just like that one. Able to go as it pleased, innocent, and free of responsibilities...

...but he wasn't a dove, nor a regular child. No amount of wishing or daydreaming would change that. He was Xingqiu, the talented and respected heir to the Feiyun Commission. And he had better start acting like it.

"Mail!" One of the maids said from downstairs "A letter for young Xingqiu!" Xingqiu wasn't expecting anything...unless it was a package of more dreaded documents. Jumping out the window suddenly sounded like a really appealing idea, now that he though about it. "It's from a-a..." Xingqiu out his ear against the door. "How do I pronounce that...C-cho-you?" Xingqiu jumped out of chair and hurried to go retrieve the letter before he stopped in his tracks after hearing his father speak. "Chongyun? Xingqiu's best friend sent him a letter? Allow me to read its contents."

Fuck. Fuck, Fuck, Fuck. Xingqiu had definitely messed up badly in front of his father plenty of times before this, but nothing compared to the fear that made his blood go cold. If Chongyun hadn't hidden his dagger the other day, he was sure that he would have stabbed himself right now to avoid his fathers wrath. Tugging at his hair and ripping some of it out, he contemplated his limited options, most of which involved killing himself. He could choke himself to death, break the window then jump out, or accept his fate and sit and wait for father to come beat Xingqiu to death himself. He could also hide in the closet, but that would make his death 10x more extreme once he was caught. (Which was bound to happen.)

In the midst of his panic, Xingqiu's brother popped his head through the door, eyes looking Xingqiu up and down. "Xingqiu, I just wanted to tell you how good of a brother you were. I love you dearly, but I'm afraid there's nothing I can do to help you." Brother rarely said anything kind to him. The only time he ever acted like this before is when he got a major accident while training. Xingqiu really was gonna get killed today, isn't he?

"How did he react?!" Xingqiu was desperate for any method to get out of the mess. Brother sounded more emotional now, but tried not to let it show. "He-He grabbed a kitchen knife and a few of mother's vases. She and the maids got on their knees started praying for you-you..." He corrected his posture. "I'm afraid there's no way out of this. You know how Father feels about the gays. He would travel all of Teyvat in order to dispose of all of them. Even if he didn't kill you, he would definitely disown and leave you to die in poverty on the streets-" Xingqiu's brother shut up when he heard light footsteps approaching. Eerily calm, as if they wanted to fool the target into a false sense of security. Xingqiu's brother gave Xingqiu one final glance, as if to say farewell, before scrambling down the hallway.

Xingqiu jumped back into his desk chair, hoping that he would fool his father into thinking he was working. The door opened behind him. "Xingqiu."

Xingqiu held his breath and put on his best smile. "Why yes father? What do you require of me?" His father stepped closer, trying to deceive him into dropping his cheerful persona. Suddenly, he gripped Xingqiu's hair, forcing him to face him. "Drop the act. You know why I'm talking to you right now. Do you take me for a fool?"

Xingqiu's smile only twitched. "No-No sir, you are very intelligent...I would never-"

Slap.

The harsh hit made Xingqiu gasp in pain. "Tell me Xingqiu, what did I say about about being in love with your own gender?" And then Xingqiu made maybe worst choice of his his life. He decided to go against everything he had been taught, and not just sit there and take it. "You-You said... being in love with your own gender is completely okay and nor-normal."

He regretted his decision as soon as it left his mouth. It was his turn now to be the one squealing in the hallway along with shattered glass. Father picked up the jade vase, held it over his head, and dropped it on Xingqiu. He squeaked as blood began rushing down his forehead. He could taste iron dripping. "People like you are the reason the Feiyun commission is frowned upon. You are no son of mine." Another cut was given to his arm, slicing his jacket. Another kick. He was thrown to the corner of his dull room. Xingqiu swore he could see his brother peeking inside the room, expression mixed horror and sympathy.

...

Once he was done taking his anger out on Xingqiu, he delivered the final blow. "You have 10 minutes to get up, pack your things, and get out of my house. Or else I'll kill you myself, no hesitation."

Get up. No one is going to help you. And you call yourself a hero? A hero who brings justice for others? Please. You can't even save yourself.

Instead of beginning to pack his bag, he grabbed a pen and paper. No. No he can't do this...he promised Chongyun he would stop this...oh well. Chongyun never really cared. He just had pity. Once he was done scribbling on the note, he picked up the jade dagger and left the mansion a final time, taking nothing with him. His ruffled sleeves had been dyed crimson red, but it didn't matter much anymore. After all, he was gonna die soon anyways.