THE LAST AUTUMN

12. wabi-sabi

I was hearing some beeping sounds which seemed familiar to me. There were machines running and I had stitches on my head and arms. I felt numb but realized that something happened to me when I was feeling pain , physically , the pain ran across my head and my eyes were getting tired. There was no one . A bell was attached there and I tried to ring it. As soon as I rang the bell , I could see some doctors coming and along with them , a man , seemed in his 30 s came rushing. "Hey , Melissa , are u ok?" That man said. Melissa? Who's this. I just stared at him. He was shaking me and I felt afraid. The doctors took him outside and I asked that nurse, "Wh..What happened?" The nurse looked at me like she was feeling sorry. After injecting a needle in my channel , she said, "Ma'am , you have been through an accident , some parts of your memory has been temporarily lost as your brain suffered through a critical injury." She looked down. I couldn't process anything but saw a woman in her 50 s and a man in his 60 s coming to me. They seemed like a married couple and at some extent I felt that I could recognise them.

"Snowflake?" The elderly man exclaimed , his voice was calm . I looked straight at his eyes. "I .. I know you" I said hesitantly. The woman started to tear up and I felt bad . I just have some fade images going on in my mind. The doctor came and asked me if I could recognise them but I didn't give an answer .They seemed close to me and I looked at them for long. "Meli , you would be discharged tomorrow , and after that we will take you to your apartment and stay with you until you recover , right?" The woman told. I felt protected so I just nod a little. The world seemed so blank . Have I lost my memory ? My name is Melissa as everyone is telling but .... I can't remember anything at this instant.

At the night time , I went towards the window side where I saw the moonlight coming. There was a man sitting outside in the campus , I recognise him , he came at first to see me. I looked for a really long time but the more I thought , the more I could feel some pain. My eyes suddenly went to the scar marks on my left wrist and I felt afraid of myself , I looked at it for long but couldn't remember how it happened. I feel lost , lost in every sphere.

The next morning I went with my parents whom I recognise a little. My apartment looked familiar but the photo of another man in my bedroom caught my eyes. 'I love you , Fritz' was written beneath. I stared at it and my mom came. She took full 3 hours to tell me about my late fiancé. She told me some childhood memories and Aron , that guy who came to see me. I was understanding little by little but still my thoughts were tangled. She told me that Aron is my best friend and he used to care for me. I was still in confusion but she gave me all her time to adapt.

After a week or two , my stitches were cut and mom took me to a salon for a fresh haircut. It was down the street and I was remembering some details that I had once visited the road. When I entered the salon , a young man stared at me , I didn't give much attention until that man offered to cut and colour my hair. I was enjoying the process.. "Melissa , sorry for that night" He spoke , his voice calm and quiet. I listened to it but didn't give much attention and just said , "It's fine". I don't know why I gave that response but he smiled at that. 'Ethan' , the name was written on his batch. He seemed a handsome guy and probably knows me. After I was done , my mom gave a satisfactory look at me and tipped him well. I said thanks and he bowed at it.

"Mom , do you know anyone called Ethan?" I asked. She looked confused too , "I don't remember you mentioning anyone named Ethan , but why?". "Nah , it's fine , just a random one." I changed the subject. Suddenly a phone call came and it was named , 'coffee shop'. My mom saw it and answered. She went a little far and talked for some minutes. She came back and I asked her about it. "Meli , you wanted to built a coffee shop and the furniture have arrived , they just confirmed it. I just told them to put inside as I want you to take rest and start new after a while." Mom said. I agreed as I am a kind of a child now since my memory is still gone. We had fun when dad came and we three had dinner outside . It was a fun day though and we enjoyed it the fullest.

At night , when everyone fell asleep , I checked some old stuffs of mine. Some photographs of me and Fritz , childhood memories , my certificate of being an Astrophysicist and pictures of my team where I recognised that man named Aron.

Every time I try to remember Aron, there is a voice in my heart which tells me not to search down too deep , it hurts and unknowingly tears fall down. I couldn't remember how I got into the accident. The last thing I remember is I was holding someone very tightly , he was close and then everything seemed black. Who is this man , Aron and moreover who is Ethan again? Everything seemed so imperfect.

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