Eat Your Food

chapter 1

Her hair covered her shoulders, like curtains. I had only seen curtains outside the basement. The were light and lace. If not they were blue and wolly. Her shirt was oversized so the supposed short sleeves hung down to her bony elbows. She hadn't eaten in days I told her to eat but she never did,she just screamed and threw things. I hated her tantrums so,so much. I knew she hated them to. She couldn't control herself and her emotions. Same with him. But he was worse. He didn't just throw. He didn't just scream. He hit and kicked and pulled and bit and slapped and more. He made mum so crazy. He made all her issues. He was always at fault but in charge of everything. Mother said he even made me. I wish I wasn't made buy a monster. Am I a monster too?

Her skin matched her pale shirt.Even though the shirt was stained with blood and food,her skin stood out against dirty white. Her skin was still beautiful,however the monster said she was more beautiful,before she had me.I don't know how people can be more beautiful than others. Maybe men and women have different beauty. He didn't have any beauty at all. But my mum shined with life. It drained every second.Her eyes bugged out of her face,her lips cracked, her neck was angry red and a suffocating blue. The rope reminded me of him. The way it wrapped around her neck, just like his burly fist. Everything reminded me of him. The floor,food,the outside,my mother,danger,violence and me.

I hate that I'm just a 'nicer 'copy of him. I'm a younger copy of him. I'm a smaller-weaker copy of him. My whole body is him. I am him. But he isn't me. He is higher than me. A God but an evil one. He has control over my whole world and my unfortunate future. I hope when I die,I don't meet my mother or monster. Mother said that dead people do nothing and waste away but I already do that. I sit at this room all day,bored but I'm used to it. Then she said that people can go to hell and or heaven. Shes told me to go to hell before and she said that monster is going to hell too. But everytime she said that,he got mad. And then ^÷   ;÷!/@   ^÷=

I watch mum swing left to right. Her shoulders hunched as her head hanged down. I looked around hearing a click. Tje door,I already knew what was coming. It was him.I always called him 'daddy' but he is a monster. It made monster less angry and made him come to his senses easier.I hugged mums legs,hoping that she would protect me like she did when alive. I'm shaking not out of sadness but fear. Monster said men can't be sad,they could only feel fear or annoyance. He said he always felt annoyed by me. My face felt hot,I feel a flood of tears in my eyes but I didn't let them fall. Men can't feel sad.

The end of her skirt rested on my neck. Monster nearly walked past not realising the hung body. But ofcourse I couldn't have a second of peace.

Monster walked up to me huffing in anger. He shoved me aside to gaze at the mum. My head hit the wall ,then i hit the floor.My legs scraped against the cold concrete and I felt a sharp pain in the back of my head. I'll definitely bleed later. I realised monster was bleeding,he was holding a knife. What has this bastard done now. All he did was horrible,but he never killed. He ran up to mum and cut he rope,he didn't even catch her so she slammed into the floor. I could hear bones breaking. He kneeled over her,then he turned his head,he was trembling with anger. His face that was always a mask of annoyance and fury was peeling.

He teeth were clenched,maybe he was trying to stop himself from crying. Well I'm not surprised. Hes a Monster not a man. He balled his fist as he walked towards me. I was doomed. I'm weaker then him,mum isn't here to protect me. My lungs burn in pain. I can't breath,I'm to scared to move. Then he hit me. He grabbed my hair,and dragged me from the corner he had pushed me into. I was right I did bleed. I could taste blood falling from my mouth. He dropped the knife to hit me.Why is it that even in this situation,he doesn't know anything else but violence. Does inflicting pain on others relieve the suffering of his heart. Is hitting people fun.

I think he really might kill me today.

"Um.. daddy?"

He paused

"Can't you just love me?"

He was going to hit me again. He was pulling back his arm. I don't want to die. I don't want to end up like mum. I stabbed him. He dropped a knife that could've killed me quicker. So I'll kill him. He fell to the floor,just like mum. I hope he feels the pain that he made me and mum feel. He left the door open,I could see the light. I walked up the stairs,I could feel my heart beating. It was my first time walking up those stairs. I left the room and got outside. I saw the curb that me and the nice women sat on,there was a notebook. It was a drawing of a cat. The cat that helped me escaped.

I walked around. Everthing was a blur. The tears blocked my sight. The old man that gave out candy seemed to be dead. I walked up the stairs, careful not to fall,someone wasn't as careful as me. From the very top I saw someone fall down and slam onto the floor. I can't remember how I got were I got,but I sat under a street light,letting the waves of light hit my skin,with darkness surrounding me. I was tired from walking so much and hungry,I hadn't eaten as mum had (£))÷#  &÷=@÷)$.

I sat for a while enjoying the freedom and silence, but I felt lonely and scared.

A random man walked up to me,I didn't dare look up. What if he was dangerous,or drunk.

"Hey,boy!Has the world knocked you down?Well,I've got news for you!Listen up!All of these stars are shining just for you. Some day,let's met again at the top,boy!"

While he talked I looked up. It was a man with yellow hair. He looked like the Sun. I've never seen the Sun but I've seen it on TV. He had short hair and his smile was as bright as the sun. Even his clothes were sun coloured. I heard the Sun was happy and brought happiness,but after talking he left me. He didn't help me. I don't care if stars shine for me. I hadn't even seen them 2 weeks ago. They were pretty,atleast. But the world had knocked me and my mum down. Some stars in the sky won't save me. I want to meet him again. I want to understand what were stars supposed to do? Why didn't he help me? So far all the men I've met haven't helped me live a better life. Well the old man gave me candy so I can't complain.

After a while,I got back home. The door was still open but I'm sure no-one was going to rob us or had tried to rob us. I walked down the mould covered stairs,a smell hit my nose. It was metallic and stung. I knew this smell but not this strong. It was monster dead on the floor. I couldnt find a cloth anywhere so I undid monsters shirt,it was already dirtied with blood so I went to the bathroom. I turned on a tap and closed the sink cover. The sink filled up and I dunked the shirt in the water. I returned into the room to wipe of all the blood on the floor. After most of the blood was gone,I put the shirt in the floor. I couldn't pick up monster so I grabbed under his armpits and pulled him into the bathtub. He could bleed out there. I got the shirt,wet it again and cleaned the trail he had left.

Soon the room was cleaned and I could rest. I went to go sleep.Surprisingly I slept well,better than I've ever slept before.