Strawberry | Hockey Rivalry 1 [Completed]

Twenty Four | Valerie

 I walked into the camp where the party was raging. I was nervous as Reilly had invited me, but I didn't want to be there as his girl. At least not yet. I talked through everything with Malorie last night and a lot of it made me realize that I have to focus on closing that chapter. All we can do now is start rebuilding the future. So how can I stop myself from seeing his dark eyes and the ping of hatred that showed when he walked out.

Blake wanted to come with me today to talk to Reilly. I was nervous about that. But he is here, walking in behind me. When Reilly saw he let out a frown. I immediately wanted to get their talk over with to see his smile again. "Thank you for bringing me today, Val. I promise I won't fight the guy, but I am going to stick up for you." I looked back at Blake and squeezed his forearm.

"I know. I appreciate the past few years with you Blake. I hope one day you find yourself a Reilly."

"Yeah, but I'm into girls so--" I slapped him with a laugh and made my way to the porch where Reilly and Brock are. I walked over to Reilly and gave him a smile.

"Hi." He held his hand out and I took it, his grip pulling me into a hug.

"Hi Valerie."

"Blake." Brock said slapping him on the back. "Here to party with us, the real winners of Michigan or what?"

"Yeah, keep gloating big guy. I could whoop your ass in lacrosse anyday." Reilly watched Blake with his eyes. I pulled back from his hold and got his attention.

"Blake wanted to talk to you. He's not..." I paused and licked my lips, his eyes watching. "Would you want to talk to him?"

"Is he trying to take you from me?"

"No," Blake said coming over. He held out his hand. "Hi I'm Blake Marner. I promise I'm not trying to take your woman, I know she's yours. Always has been, always will be. I understood when I pursued her." He gave me a smile and looked over to Reilly. "I just, I'd like to share some observations, man to man."

Brock looked over with raised eyebrows and Wren opened another beer. I looked to Reilly and gave him a small smile. "I promise it's nothing bad." Reilly stood up and kissed the top of my head.

"Anything for you, lovebug." Blake winked as they walked away and I let out a sigh. Brock came over and handed me a High Noon.

"What's up, Val?" I let out a laugh and sat next to him on the swinging bench.

"I'm sure you are up to date, Brock. Isn't he passing ideas by you?"

"Oh yea. You're going to get the first part of it either tomorrow or Saturday." I raised my eyebrows and he chuckled this time. "He's going all out, but how are you? Can I help you in closing the past?"

I shrugged and put my head on his shoulder, watching two freshmen play chicken. On the grass. "I need to find a way that helps me process the past four years and figure out how it impacted me and what I can do about it."

"Yeah, so..." he paused, taking a sip of his beer. "I have no ideas right now, but if we need to talk or go on a drive or get drunk, I'll be here." I took his hand in mine and gave it a squeeze. Brock has bigger hands than Reilly, but I was still able to get my appreciation with the squeeze.

Reilly's first gift to me was a Rupi Kaur interactive book. It is hardcover and he left a note taped to the inside. Journal your emotions. Feel everything in order to get new beginnings. I let out a soft chuckle, wondering how on Earth he came up with that. I mean, did he get inspirational over the past few years or did he Google it. I went through the book during dinner and when I woke up this morning, I started writing. After a week, I was halfway through it.

Last Friday, after I got back with Wren from a study session for our final, there were Tulips with a card waiting on the counter. Malorie was all over me as I read the card.

Honestly where do I begin? I tried looking up the perfect flower, because I feel like roses might be a tad generic. So I came across Tulips. Did you know they are a way to symbolize perfect love and adoration? I adore you Valerie Wilson. I don't know how to tell you how much you mean to me. Sometimes it's so overwhelming I don't know how to go a day without you. It gets me giddy to plan these gifts and show you how much you consume my mind. Finals are sixteen days away. I'm not counting or anything ( I am, I always have a countdown to the big events).

I remember when we were sixteen and absolutely living in the honeymoon period. Remember junior year? So much PDA... but then again, you are the apple of my eye. (sorry that was so corny)

I was smiling so hard, Malorie screamed and ran around the kitchen. I took a picture of the tulips and sent them to him with a heart. He sent back the Earth emoji.

This Friday I am staring at at a deferment envelope and a necklace case. The deferment is to the NHL draft. On the back of the paper is his messy handwriting. I'm not entering the draft this year. I felt like I could and feel confident, but I can't leave you. How can I plan my future if we haven't talked about it. The decision to go pro is a big one and it requires your input. I felt like you would have encouraged me to go this year, but I want the college experience with you. You in my jersey in the stands. Sneaking into practices while avoiding your dad. You there with me during the draft. Don't forget who you are Gold.

I smiled through my tears and opened the necklace case. I bit my lip placing the necklace in my psalm. In script is the name Gold. The entire piece is silver, but the script is thick and all lowercase. Malorie wasn't here for this, she's at work, so I sent her a photo. She immediately responded with the mind blown emoji. Fives times. Followed by the ring emoji. I laughed and clutched onto the necklace.

Sitting on the couch I looked down at the letter and his necklace. I've wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and feel safe going to bed. I have been tossing and turning for the past few weeks wishing I was in his embrace. Boston made me crave his physical connection so much and now, I have him mentally and emotionally. We can never go back to Colorado and change what happened. His entire world came crashing down on him. He could never go back to who he was and I can never forget everything I've done. Neither can he. He knows and acknowledges how I got him to where he was. He knows the hell he put me through and promised to never do it again. While I'll never know what Blake and him talked about, I do know that when Blake came back, he kissed me on the forehead, wishing me luck as future Mrs. Gold.

I know that Reilly is my end game. Hell he could propose at the end of finals and I'd probably say yes, but is it something we need right now? No. I know my future is him. I know I want his babies running around. With animals in our backyard and going to his games as a family. Momma Melissa has always been my surrogate mom. I sent Reilly a text that I love him. My last final is Wednesday morning and then my junior year is complete. I have three days to wonder what the finale to this all is.

What I do know and what I wrote at the back of the Rupi Kaur book is that I am the gold. I don't need medals, validation, instagram photos or someone I love giving me gifts to know what I desire. No one can give me pity looks for getting back with him. We're not those people anymore. Colorado stigma can be burned to the ground. Huge bonfire or whatever. After all there's a saying about rising from the ashes.

We're not high school lovers anymore. We're adults. Madly in love adults.