Painful Disguise

I can be happy
I can wear a smile
Please you with my eyes
My painful disguise

I can be sad
I can wear my tears
Disgust you with my eyes
And be everything you feared

At a glance
It may seem
That I am fine
Calm and clean

If you look
Deep within
There's a broken mess
Trying to confess

I tried to tell you
I cried all night
I told you, I told you
I won't, I will, I might?

I said it so bluntly
Clear enough to hear
But you chose to ignore me
You chose to my dear

I'm sorry if it's painful
It might be hard to hear
But I told you the truth
And now I live in fear

I want to kill myself.
Don't tell me that I don't.
I want to every night.
One day I just might...