Love, Laurie

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

I never thought that I'd regret my decisions. Never in my life had I thought that I could be wrong. But I was, and I couldn't go back. No matter how hard I want to. All I can do now is live with the consequences of my actions and the choices I made.

It all started years ago, when I was just nine years old, and had the worst birthday ever. I had wanted many things for my birthday, but my parents had failed to give them to me. I had wanted to do a great many things, but my parents refused to let me do them. I wanted to go there, but my parents brought me here. My parents would never let me get what I want, do what I want, or go where I want. I was annoyed by it. I was done with it, I decided.

It was easy, getting the poison to slip into my father's coffee. It was in almost every cleaning solution and high school lab. Twenty-four hours after he drank the coffee, he ended up in the emergency room, lethargic and sweating profusely. His organs started to fail and he died not two hours after being admitted into the hospital. My mother was devasted, but she tried to explain what happened to my father. I knew what happened to father, obviously, but she didn't so she told me that he had died of a heart attack.

Mother's was harder. I liked her better than Father, but I still wanted her gone. I finally decided how I was going to do it. It was more difficult than slipping something into one's drink, but she still never saw it coming. Engineering the brakes in her car so that it would stop working once she reached a certain speed wasn't easy, but I still managed to do it. I felt unhappy at her death, unlike I did at Father's. But it soon passed when I felt free.

That, of course, was a lie. I thought I would be better off without them, but I couldn't be more wrong. I regret what I had done. I wish I hadn't done it because as much freedom as I have now doesn't feel as good as it would without them in it.

                                                                                                                                                                            Love, Laurie