People are constantly telling themselves that there has to be someone out there for them, being there are seven billion people on this Earth. But what if there's not. What if I am actually destined to be alone forever? I mean, it is completely possible, and more than likely.
I have fallen in love before, but by some fate, he decided that it was best to part ways from me. Which is what I expected from the beginning. My biggest fear is to put my trust into someone and then for that person to throw it all away, which is what happened.
He was a player, I guess. But then again, so am I. I was never ready for a serious relationship, but I wanted one so bad that I made it up to be more than it actually was.
My entire being was placed into this boy, one that supposedly loved me. I gave him my all, even though it was not much and the little that I had was not very good, but it was the best I could do. The sad part is, he never realized this and if he did, he did not appreciate it enough.
Love is a very delicate thing. It is very fragile when not used properly, so that if you drop it even once, it smashes into millions of tiny pieces that will never be repaired.
Love is a very important thing. Everyone's lives revolve around it. We have children, parents, spouses, friends that mean so much to us that we would do anything and everything for.
This is what I felt for this boy, who truly was still yet a boy. He played with my feelings and left me questioning whether I was actually a beautiful person. If he wants to leave me, everyone else will too. That's how it works.
Days before he ended our relationship, I was trying to determine for myself if I actually wanted to stay with him. Being ignored by the person you love is a scarring thing. It hurts your heart more than anything in the world. I can safely say that I should've ended the whole things weeks before he did, but I didn't because I loved him and I thought he deserved another chance. Obviously he didn't and he still doesn't.
Through all of this I realized just how thrown about love is. It really doesn't mean anything anymore. You can say one thing and then feel another. You can feel one thing and then do another. This is why the world is so messed up. Humans are constantly going against everything we were ever taught, ever felt, and ever wanted.
I wish I could write to him and tell him how I feel because my writing is stronger than my voice. But I can't. And now I leave you with all the words from my heart, I have poured out my soul for you.
I have fallen in and out of love, but I'm not done yet. There's so much left to do and so many other people to love, I'll just have to find him.
