The unknown diary

The Beginning

TW! MENTIONS OF ABUSE OF ALCOHOL, PHYSICAL ABUSE, NEGLECT, SLURS, DISOWNING AND BULLYING.

Dear diary, It's Thursday 18th of May 2023

Hello, my names Allen. I'm 16 and I live in Salem, Massachusetts's. I work a half time job. And I go to Salem high school cause it's the only one my family could find where we live. I'm in the 11th grade and I was born March 16, 2008. I would say that I have more cons than pros. You would only think that seeing ghosts is a cool advantage or power, whatever you want to call it. But it's not, I usually get bullied or people talk shit about me. I mean you can count seeing ghost as a pro sometimes I guess, but I don't really know. I would say that this is a long introduction for myself; but I think that I've seen longer than this.

I usually hear some kids call me a "Fag", "Freak", "Inconvenience", or "Retard"; and I'm pretty used to it by now. But otherwise, the some other kids just give me ugly stares or just ignore me anytime they can. I'm usually just by myself during projects or a teacher forces some kids to work with me. I find it annoying that teachers do that, even when I say I want to work by myself. But they always say, "It's a big project, you need help." but all the groups that I've been in make me do it myself and it's not even that hard. It's stupid.

But also, another thing is that, not even the nice kids want anything to do with me. They said that they think that I'm going to curse them because I can see and talk to ghosts. But I'm not going to do any of that, I always try to tell them and convince people otherwise. Bur another rumor that was spreading around was people saying that I'm a witch. And they also try to bring back the Salem witch trials because they still think that. But I keep saying I'm not and whenever I tell the staff or the principal, they don't do anything. They just let it sit in their mini mailbox that says, "complaints or suggestions". When it gets full, I remember seeing them shred the papers when I was going to talk to them about the issues that are going on. Plus they didn't even look like they read it and took note of what was being said so they could resolve the issue or issues. I hate this school. And my parents refuse to move somewhere else because "This place is fine, and there's nothing wrong with this place. I don't know why you're complaining, be grateful".

But while that was happening during school, at home I would often get yelled at by my mother, even when it was about nothing or a small thing. I would also get hit by my father when he was drunk off beer or some other alcohol. I would tell my mother, but she would be on my dad's side the only reason she agrees with my father is because she is afraid of him. I wanted to run away so bad, but I know that I would never succeed. And I would tell my mom, but she wouldn't do anything about it, she wouldn't even care. She would just say "Okay? I don't fucking care. You deserve it, you're just a useless incompetent kid. Nobody even cares about you, I don't even know why you're still bugging me." She says that all the time and I don't know how much more I can take of this.

My family doesn't even think about helping me with my bruises and cuts. I would often have to clean and bandage them up myself so they wouldn't get infected. But otherwise, I had to go to school with them all over me and I always got weird stares and heard laughing with my name in the sentence and talking about me in a bad way. Being honest with you, I wish they were-... Never mind, I won't finish writing that sentence.

Usually, I think of myself as a joke. Everybody thinks I'm a joke. Well, everybody except my two friends that I won't have for long, or maybe they think that too and they just stay with me because they pity me? I'm not sure. I don't even know why my family hasn't disowned me yet. I can't believe I'm ranting to a damn journal about this stuff. This is so stupid, why am I even doing this again? I bought this journal to draw in, but I just had to ramble about myself in here. Might as well add the date like regular diaries have, hold on. There we go, I guess this will be a diary. I wasn't planning to make this a diary I was originally going to make this a drawing book, or a notebook, or a story book, or even a poem book. But I guess it's a diary now and I don't feel like ripping out this page to be honest. I already wrote too much to just throw it away.

I feel like I shouldn't have written the things that I did just in case my family saw it, but I guess it's whatever. I never thought that my life was so sad till I had to think it and re-read all of this, I usually thought that it wasn't anything just a little bit of suffering, but I guess I was wrong. I don't really know what else to say in this entry, so I guess goodbye?