Her Name...

Beloved

Her name was Becca.

I knew I should've gone to meet Aleyna, but I couldn't. It was too late. I couldn't be happy with her, not like how I had imagined. But this girl in front of me... Becca... the way she laughed, the way she talked, she drew me in. I lost track of time, all I knew was I wanted to be in her presence. She was pretty, with straight brown hair that came down past her shoulders, light hazel eyes that seemed to sparkle in the light, and the nose ring. It was a simple band on her left nostril, silver, small, and unassuming, but it just complimented her face really well. I remember we had a lot in common, Becca and me. And when we talked, she took my mind away from Aleyna. We sat in that shop for hours, until we had to leave at closing time. I offered to drop her home since it was late, but she shook her head. She had her vespa, and she would be fine. I walked her to where she had parked. She said she had a great time, and she put her helmet on. She asked for my phone so she could put in her number. I glanced down as I took it out. Missed calls and messages. From Aleyna. The shadow of uncertainty must have crossed my face, because she was looking at me curiously. I got rid of the notifications and handed my phone to her. She put her number in and called it. I heard it ring in her pocket. She handed my phone back, with a smile. It was understood that we'd meet again soon. I watched her leave, my mind filled with thoughts of her.

We met a few more times throughout the week. Things were different with Becca. I didn't want to rush into a relationship, and she seemed eager to have a friend that shared so much of her interests with her. I was glad for her company, as when I was alone, I would always find my thoughts straying to Aleyna. We would usually meet for lunch, we'd talk while we ate, and then head back to our respective jobs. We started meeting for dinner too after a while. We spent so much time together, and yet our conversations never got dull or boring. She started to feel like a part of me, and I was excited to learn anything I could about her. She didn't have a boyfriend, I guess I was happy to hear that. She wasn't looking for one either, I wasn't happy to hear that. Still the way she made me feel, I felt content just being her friend. She'd listen to me as well, and though we talked briefly about Aleyna, she knew enough not to press the subject. With her, I went to places I never would before. We went to the zoo, the park, the arcade. Places I hadn't been to since I was a child. But it felt good. I wasn't in love, but I felt alive...

Until I met Aleyna again. We were sitting near the riverwalk, lazing the Sunday afternoon away, when she walked by. My heart fluttered, till I saw her arm in arm with her old boyfriend. My heart exploded. I knew I shouldn't feel bad, since I was the one who disappeared, but it still hurt. I figured she'd wait for me. And even if she didn't, I didn't think I'd actually see it. How long did she wait before calling him? Did I last a week in her mind? She had stopped messaging after the second day, and I didn't blame her for that. I left her, but I guess her old boyfriend did mean more to her than I did. I became morose, I felt dead inside, ... but Becca wouldn't let me.

She noticed the moment my face darkened from looking over in their direction. She didn't say anything, but I think she knew that was Aleyna. She dragged me to my feet after they passed by. She pulled me along, and I followed in a daze. She spent every free moment with me, and I don't think I'd have been able to pick myself up if it wasn't for her. She gave my life direction, and meaning. She told me to work out. Everytime I thought of Aleyna, I'd have to push myself further. Mental and physical exhaustion, she'd say. And I could slowly feel the changes. My mind got used to keeping Aleyna out. And every time I was weak, Becca would be there to make me strong again.

I was over Aleyna, and though I didn't want to, I was falling for Becca. She was the most precious thing to me, and I cared for her greatly. I never could work out how to tell her though. We were comfortable with each other, but I hadn't even kissed her yet. I kept telling myself I'd tell her....till it was too late.

My job transferred me overseas. It was a better position, higher salary, bigger title. Plus the company would arrange for everything. It was an amazing opportunity...but so was Becca. My heart, my mind were torn in two. I owed everything to Becca. She pushed me to be the best I could. I told her about it over dinner. It was her turn to cook and we were lazing about on her couch. She told me to take it, it was a great opportunity for me. Her smile glowed bright, and I knew she was genuinely happy for me. I was crestfallen. I had hoped this would be where she showed some interest in me, but it didn't happen.

We spent more time together as the day of my departure drew closer. She was my best friend, and I spent almost every waking moment with her. She came with me to the airport. Waited with me in the line as I checked my baggage in. Came in as far as she could. We even bought her a ticket so she could come to the gate.

They called my flight, and I stood. I pulled her up to her feet, and right as I was about to enter she leaned in to give me a hug. I took her face in my hands and kissed her. And everything in the world felt so right. So perfect. I didn't want to go. I love you, the words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them. She smiled that angelic smile of hers, reached up and pulled me close to her. Our foreheads touched. When you come back, she whispered, and those feelings haven't changed. Let me hear those words again. She pulled me into a kiss and pushed me back into the gate. She smiled and waved as I walked towards the plane. I looked back at her face one last time before entering the plane. I wanted to imprint it in my memory forever.