george r.r. martin i'm in your walls

an eye is closed

Alicent is no stranger to duty. Duty is what calls her to the Seven, what she lives by, the very air she breathes. Duty is what led her to become the most powerful woman in the Seven Kingdoms, and it is what bore her four children: an heir to the Iron Throne, his sister-wife, and two sons to buffer any unfortunate mishaps. And yet, what has duty and the Seven gifted to her?

A husband with not a comely face and love for a dead woman?

A step-daughter (childhood companion) who flouts her duty to the realm and parades around bastards claiming them to be trueborn?

Alicent is no stranger to duty, and yet, it seems her obedience to the will of the gods and the whims of the realm have all been for naught.

Her second son, Aemond is proof of that.

Her son, the son which was not an easy and quick labor as she claimed to Rhaenyra all those years ago. Her son, whose egg did not hatch in the cradle, though the bastards Jacaerys' and Lucerys' eggs did hatch. Where is the justice in that? That her trueborn son, borne from her duty and obedience to her husband, would be humiliated when those Strong bastards would be gifted and dignified.

Alicent's fear of those beasts has not gone away. Four Targaryen children she's birthed, four children with the blood of Old Valyria in their veins, and yet Alicent is undeniably Andal, and Aemond has surely inherited her blood. He always arrives at her chambers, dirty and stinking of dragon, attempting to claim one of the beasts for himself (and he becomes more sullen at each failed attempt). The humiliation she and her trueborn children must be forced to endure has nearly reached the breaking point.

The nail in the coffin is the hatching of Prince Jacaerys' disgusting green beast, Gardevoir.

Alicent will never forget Aemond's expression the day Prince Jacaerys' egg hatched. She assumed her son inherited her Andal blood, but she only saw a dragon when Gardevoir cried into the room, flying around Prince Jacaerys, who laughed so cruelly. Aemond, at eight name-days, stalked out of the room, fists clenched and tears threatening to spill, and thought in his mind to no doubt go to the Dragon Pit and try once more.

Alicent's heart clenched for her second son. She knew well the pain etched into the walls of the Red Keep, a place to which she would never belong. But as much as Alicent wanted to reach out to her son, to soothe the phantom ache of a beast she will never be comfortable around, she had a duty. Her duty was to ensure her husband, King of the Seven Kingdoms, did not entrust Rhaenyra as Hand and the bastard Jacaerys as cupbearer.

Women were not made to rule in such positions of power. Such a duty should be left to the men, and highborn women like Alicent were to gently guide them. Rhaenyra's ascension would only cause blood to spill and war to follow, and her children would be put to the sword.

No, Alicent must not allow Viserys to be swayed by a mere bastard boy, no matter what dreams he may claim to have.

With such a heavy duty and heavy heart, Alicent did all she could to pull Viserys to her side, to see reason and prevent all the needless bloodshed. Again she petitioned him to instate Aegon as heir, which should have been his birthright from the day he was born.

Each time, Viserys would answer with, "No, Alicent. Rhaenyra is my heir and Prince Jaecaerys after her. Do not ask me again."

The Seven know Alicent has repented and prayed for deliverance many a time for being so cruel when thinking of her husband. But Viserys is a weak fool, and his idea of peace will not last long. Alicent knows this, the men of the Small Council know this, the Lords who've sworn fealty to Rhaenyra know this, the entire realm knows this.

Alicent has done her best to instill in Aegon his duties as heir, and Aemond the truth of his nephews' bastardry and how their blood is cursed. Daeron, her youngest, is being fostered in the heart of the Faith, in Oldtown, away from such Targaryen depravity. She prays for her children's safety when their father and half-sister offer none.