i can't help but think of you

nonsense

The door to the practise room opening shocked Rain out of his spiral. He had been practising the same part of the dance over and over again. He was beginning to think he could never do it right and was running himself ragged. He had refused to take a break when Yuna came in to give him a snack. He wasn't sure how long he had been dancing since then, but when he finally stopped he could feel the sweat completely soaking his clothes, and aches setting into his muscles. When he turned to look at the door to see who had walked in, he wanted to disappear.

"Do you know what time it is?" Phayu asked, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall. He was a vision in just a simple black t-shirt and dark wash jeans. How was someone like him even real? Who just wakes up and exists looking the way Phayu did? Rain froze. Why was he having those thoughts? How could he turn that part of his brain off?

"No." Rain said bluntly, trying desperately to catch his breath. He moved over to the bench, grabbing the small towel Yuna had brought for him earlier in the day. Phayu watched Rain closely as he moved. He figured Rain would try hard to prove himself, he just didn't think Rain would basically try to break himself.

"It's almost midnight." Phayu said. He pushed off the wall, walking over to Rain. He noticed when Rain glanced, giving him a once over that he desperately tried to hide. He wasn't subtle at all. Phayu had to stop himself from mentioning it. He would just let Rain get away with thinking he was being sneaky. There was no need to ruin his fun.

"Oh." Rain grabbed his phone, checking the time. Sure enough, it was 15 minutes til. When he locked his phone, he turned to fully look at Phayu. If it was so late, why was he still here? Was Phayu also practising in his own studio?

"Is that your favourite word?" Phayu teased. Rain blushed, turning away. He grabbed a bottle of water, taking a large gulp of it. Finally his breathing was returning to normal. Yet with Phayu staring at him the way he was, he was starting to feel dizzy.

"Why are you here?" Rain asked.

"Who was that girl you shared on twitter yesterday?" Phayu returned. A question answered with a question. There was no use trying to ignore that situation. Phayu had to know the truth. It was driving him crazy.

"My crush... Apple." Rain said. He paused, completely unsure why he had told Phayu the complete truth. All he had to do was say that Apple was his friend. Why did he always lose control of his words when Phayu was around?

"Your crush?" Phayu raised an eyebrow. A crush? He could work with that.

"Yes." Rain turned away from Phayu, rubbing his face with the towel. He wanted desperately to dissolve out of existence. All he ever did when he was around Phayu was make a complete fool of himself.

"Oh. I know what's going on." Phayu said suddenly. Rain quickly turned to look at Phayu again, his eyes widening. What did he mean by that?

"So tell me if I got this right. You went to auditions, passed, and became a trainee, just to prove to your crush that you could be an idol?" Phayu asked, raising an eyebrow. Rain's face was heated with embarrassment, even the tips of his ears were red. He didn't think he would have gotten found out so easily. And of course it was Phayu of all people who had figured it out.

"It's called dedication! Don't you know that word? She's someone very important to me. I would do anything to be with her. Being an idol is nothing. When she notices me, this will all be worth it! So don't you dare get in my way Phayu! Or I'll tell everyone the truth that you're not the nation's boyfriend. You're self centred and narcissistic, and just... rude!" Rain hadn't noticed his voice raise in volume but he couldn't help himself. Phayu just made him so angry.

"Sure, being an idol is easy. But you're not going to be singing any time soon." Phayu said.

"What do you mean?" Rain gasped. Was Phayu really trying to say Rain wasn't a good singer? He had passed the audition with his voice alone. Phayu had just told him the other night that he never thought he was a bad singer. Why was he suddenly saying something like that to Rain again?