Kill the truth

3 : i do love me some good smores!

FANS POV

I woke up in the middle of the night to paintbrush being gone, hoping they were just going to the bathroom or something. I looked around the bed for my phone to check the time, just to realize it's not charged. I sigh, getting up.

"P- paintbrush?" My voice is raspy, and my nose is stuffy. I walk out of paintbrush's room, looking for them. Suddenly, the front door is getting unlocked from the outside.

I stand still, frozen in fear. I felt terrified, like I was about to be murdered. I couldn't move. I couldn't yell.. I hate this feeling.. I don't wanna feel like this.

Be brave, fan. You CAN do this.

I take a deep breath, and start walking towards the door. My legs are shaking, and I feel like I'm about to fall over. As I walk closer, the door opens. A sigh of relief comes from me. It's just paintbrush.. good..

I run towards them, hugging them. They push me away. "I only went on a walk cause I couldn't sleep, fan. You're fine." They say in a sort of disgusted tone.. I look at them in a sad way, before looking down at the floor and apologizing. "Oh.. sorry."

"Yeah yeah, whatever." Paintbrush rolled their eyes and picked me up, bringing me back to their room to sleep. I lay on their chest, sniffling and hiccuping. They rub my paper, and it tickles a bit, but it feels nice. I feel.. happy right now. After what happened today, I really needed this. Paintbrush was comforting me as they rubbed my paper. I smiled, falling asleep pretty quickly.

Everything went dark so quickly. Was this a nightmare? Was this real? I couldn't tell my dreams from reality anymore. I felt like I was falling into a deep, dark pit. suddenly i was in a white room. I saw test tube and.. marshmallow? interesting..

I tried walking towards them, but suddenly everything went dark and I was all alone.

then i woke up.

The smell of food being cooked was amazing.. ahhh.. paintbrush always has been good at cooking. For a second I almost forgot about the nightmare I had. I put on one of paintbrush's hoodies, knowing they don't really mind.

I walk out there, rubbing and itching my wrists. "Morning paintbrush.." I yawn. "Morning, fan." They say, focusing more on the food. They took the food off the pan, putting it onto two plates and handing one to me. Normally I'm really picky, but I like anything they make.

I finish my food and wash my plate at the same time as them, then they sit on the couch as I sit on their lap. I'll be honest, I've had a crush on them before, but I've always just tried to get over it knowing they most likely don't like me back. I.. still like them, but I don't think that they even like me as a friend. If test tube didn't... you know.. they would NEVER have done this. They get annoyed with me a lot.. sometimes I purposely annoy them due to thinking it's kinda funny.

I hugged them, my eyes were closed and my legs were wrapped around them. I felt so tired. I felt like I couldn't do anything. I suddenly got up, and walked into their bathroom. I closed the door and locked it before looking at myself in the mirror and starting to break down.

I can't do anything without test tube. She was everything to me.

I hate how I look, I hate how I sound, I hate how I act, I hate myself. I've always been socially awkward, and that's kinda why I mostly am on the internet. You don't need to talk face to face with everyone. Nobody has to see how you look, and you could make an entire new personality. You don't have to be who everyone expects you to be.

Paintbrush knocked on the door, which made me realize how much I was spacing out. "Fan? What are you doing?" I stared at the door as they asked the question. "Sorry, one sec I'll be out in a minute."

How long have I been in here? Not that long, I assume. I sigh and shake off, as if I'm trying to get off any bad thoughts I had a few minutes ago. I smile, trying not to make it obvious how fake it is.

I walk out the bathroom and go back on the couch, sitting back on paintbrush's knees. I look up at them, and we make eye contact for a second. I get awkward and turn away, though. Suddenly I hear them laugh. "That was cute."

Oh. My. GOD.

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODDDD.

their laugh made me so happy, and on top of that, being called cute???? AAHH!! they probably didn't mean it in the way I wish they mean it, but I'm still so happy because of it. I smile and slightly blush. I laugh a little and turn away awkwardly. I move off their lap and we both laugh for a good minute.

"Sooo.. I have a campfire place in my backyard.. wanna make s'mores later, fan?" I stared at them happily.

"Yeah!! I do love me some good s'mores!"