|big time skip|
The ghouls now all know I was in love with Sodo, but I couldn't hold it anymore. I couldn't even talk to him without blushing or stuttering, and he didn't show any sign that he'd might like me..
I was really sad at some point. I've been in love with him for almost 5 months now, and he hasn't changed his mind of love yet...
"Maybe he just sees me as a 'friend'.. I should try and forget him, " I thought to myself, but it was hard. I couldn't forget him like that, but he didn't want me, so what else should I have done?
I lay in bed crying
"If course he doesn't love me, I'm ugly, I have those dumb scars, and my legs are also full of scars.. disgusting, " I told myself as I scratched myself trying to make the pain go away..
I almost took it too far and scratched my arm bloody when copia walked in..
" Amore mio.. what's wrong?" He asked as he took my arm and sat on my bed
"Nothing.." I looked away
"Tell me. I won't judge you!" He smiled at me
"Fine, so maybe im in love, and maybe that person doesn't love me.. I'm just not.. lovable, " I mumbled
"You are so lovable.. but let me guess the person is Sodo. " He still smiled, and I just nodded
"He says love is useless, but I love him so much I think I already fell in love when I first saw him.. but he doesn't want me, so I'll just forget him." A tear fell from my cheek
"Don't do that.. please, " Copia said
"I'll leave you alone for now, okay?"
"Mhm." I mumbled
I didn't know what to do anymore
'Swiss just posted a tik tok'
Since when is he posting shit on tik tok?
I opened and stared at my screen for a while
It was a video from the day I came back and Sodo hugged me in slow motion with the lyrics
'Gonna hold ya, gonna kiss you in my arms, Gonna take you away from harm' (big jet plane by Angus & Julia Stone)
With the caption 'they belong together♡'
I saved the video and smiled to myself for a bit. That was adorable.
I watched it a few more times before putting my phone away and drifting off to sleep since it was very late.
I actually agreed to come to Sodo and say goodnight, but I couldn't. I felt so week today. I couldn't even push the blankets over myself, which wasn't such a good idea because I had some scars here and there on my legs.
But I thought no one would come in
Until I woke up
"Heyy.. you didn't come to say goodnight. What's wrong?" Sodo asked me quietly
"Sorry.. felt exhausted. " I couldn't and didn't want to build proper sentences, so I just mumbled some weird shit
Sodo put his head down on the side of my bed, almost right in front of my face
"It's okay, but next time, text me so I know.." He smiled.. such a beautiful smile
"Mhm." I mumbled
"Are you okay? Are you cold?" Sodo asked me
"Mhm a bit," I answered, I still didn't have the blanket over me, but then it hit me. The scars fuck..
"Sunny.. what's that?" He asked standing over me staring at the scars
"S-scars?" I stuttered
"Were do they come from?" He asked concerned
"N-nowhere" I didn't want to tell him
"Don't tell me that was yourself.." He brushed over the scars with the back of his hands and traced the fresh thin Red lines
I knew he knew the answer so I just kept quiet
He suddenly hugged me out of nowhere
"Mh?" I was confused now
"Don't do that ever again. Was it my fault? Did someone hurt you?" He started asking a bit scared
"It's not your fault.. just my past.." I lied, knowing it was because of my love to him.
Bit, I didn't want him to know he'd probably think I was just seeking attention
"There is something else.. something else is bothering you.." He said, worried
"I-i fell in love." There I said it. He didn't know it was him but I was so glad I said it.
"W-what..? Whit who?" He asked me
"I don't want to say," I mumbled
"Someone I know?" He questioned
"Mhm.. you know him very well.." I wanted to cry, but not in front of him. I wanted to tell him so badly
"That's nice! I'm happy for you." He smiled. Was he happy I liked 'someone else'?
"Mhm.. well, but he doesn't love me.. he hates love." Sodos' eyes widened. Did I say too much?
He suddenly smiled
"I'm sure he will soon show you how much he actually loves you, but now just sleep,"
I nodded and and gave him a little hug and went to sleep.
|I won't post as often anymore because I'm not doing so well at the moment, but I'll definitely post once a week or so|
YOU ARE READING
Love? (Sodo x fem reader)
Randomin this story, you are a ghoul who has been living around the clergy for a long time now. You have some trauma and thought life was just absolute shit. Love didn't exist to you until.. someone proved you wrong
