Bonus 》The Parents Of Lee Minho And Why He's A Loser

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His voice whined painfully,

"Shoot me in the head, my love."

"Oh!" Jisung startled at the sudden comment, eyes widening by tenfold at Minho's unprompted declaration as he watched his boyfriend on his phone's screen; The body of the hacker deflated lifelessly against what looked to be a couch he was splayed atop, his neck crooned back uncomfortably on the cushiony pillows rushing to cover him beneath the feathered down within the cushion, his limp arm barely holding the phone's camera onto himself as the microphone crackled with fleeting sounds scurrying by in the background. Jisung readjusted the pillow he propped against his own chest on his mattress, wiggling until he found a comfortable position on his elbows to chat with Minho, "That's a great... Hook. You've engaged me in your topic. What's happening?"

"Shoot me in the head with a silver bullet... Let it pierce my thoughts and purge me of the sins in this Hellscape..." The hacker continued to pour while his body deflated into the couch below him, the grip angling the phone camera onto himself gradually listing to a crooked view Jisung could only hope he would correct. Though his wishes wouldn't be listened to, while his boyfriend became the hollowed husk of a decaying corpse on the other side of the video call, the dying of his voice that sung over the microphone into the stillness of Jisung's bedroom raving, "Let my blood run and turn into the roses you prune in your gardens of Eden, my love... Let the petals be each drop I devote to you, to prove my worship for a God so heavenly I could never hope to serve him."

Before Jisung could find his words to respond to the improptu poet, Minho lifted his phone.

He stared directly into the camera.

"I hate family gatherings."

"You must hate them, that was quite the monologue, Bunny," Jisung found himself quirking the corner of his lips up at his boyfriend's blatant misery, his slight amusement with his boyfriend's antics crying out in desperation for assistance with the painful realities that family gatherings were echoed by Minho's own fast grin flashing like lightning against his features. The camboy shifted again on his mattress, adjusting himself up onto his elbows to fix the pillow beneath his body. Settling into the nest he created of swarming pillows and blankets on the bed to occupy him while Minho was not there to cuddle him during the day (Minho's sleep schedule was shit, and the hacker often slept through the day while Jisung woke in the afternoons), Jisung surrendered himself to keeping Minho entertained for as long as possible, "Have you been thinking of that all day?"

"Girl, no, I improv all my material," Minho scrunched his face up at the comment in complete offense. A heinous offense that someone would assume Minho was not a natural word slinger that even William Shakespeare himself would fear, much less Jisung who was subjected to his all too frequent rants that had Hamlet paling in comparison. Still, Minho flopped over onto the armrest beside him, his body curling up in the phone's camera capturing his movements. The angle growing closer to his body, the lense focusing on his pouting lips and his sparkling eyes, so subtly glimmering as his words begged softly, "I want to come home and cuddle with you."

Restraining the urge to start cooing and awing at his boyfriend's adorableness, his puffy squishy cheek pudging up because of the cushion he was laying on and the stunning ocean of his eyes Jisung could find himself navigating through for endless hours while the computer screens reflected code into their pensive waters, Jisung bit back his smile to ask, "What's going on? What's wrong with the family meetup?"

This was a useless question. Jisung knew exactly what was wrong with the family meetup because Minho hadn't stopped texting him since he arrived.

"Let's see, uh... Should I start with my Uncle and his crocs that keep making squishing noises when he walks, or the fact Seungmin hijacked our living room speakers and started dancing sensually with Felix to Latin music, or his stupid kid who pushed me into the pool, or my Grandma who kept asking me when I was going to get married!" Minho vented at the camera, before suddenly sitting up from the couch he slumped over on and shouting at something off screen, "Or should I mentioned Changbin who is TRYING TO EAVESDROP ON OUR CONVERSATION WHILE HE SIPS ON THE LAST CAPRISUN HE STOLE FROM ME?!"

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