The Gilmore Misfortune

1 - 𝓜𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓖𝓲𝓵𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮𝓼

"EMILY!" Richard called as he walked down the stairs.  "I can't find my green tie!"

"The tie or the bow tie?" Emily asked, not looking up from her book - a signed copy of the newest murder mystery from a popular author she normally hated.  She was positive the maid was the killer.

"The green bow tie," Richard corrected himself.

"I haven't seen it," she said, turning a page.  "Ask the new maid."

"Another one?" he muttered, starting toward the dining room.

"The last one overcooked the chicken last night," Emily said. 

"That is true, but...  she was hired half an hour before you wanted dinner ready."

"It still wasn't acceptable."  She set her book down on the coffee table next to a vase of orchids.  A few drops of water had spilled onto the smooth, shiny wood when they were put in water.  Emily sighed.

Richard turned away, a slight frown on his face.  "I'll go ask the maid if she's seen it."

He walked into the other room as Emily stood up.  She adjusted the flowers in the vase - they were all at the wrong angles and none of them were quite the colour she expected.

Richard came back in, green bow tie in his left hand.  "Constance had it."

"Is that her name?"  Emily moved the decorative pillows back to their places on the couch.

"Yes, not that it matters to you," he said.  "I'm sure she'll be gone before breakfast tomorrow."

Richard opened his mouth to speak, but as he did, the phone rang.

Emily picked it up.  "Hello, Emily Gilmore speaking."

"Hello, Emily," a man's calm voice said over the phone.  "My name is Diego, I'm from the bank."

"Good morning, Diego," she said impatiently.  "What do you want?"

"I'm calling because you closed your accounts here," he said.  "It's sort of an exit survey, in case you have any feedback on things we could do differently that would make you want to stay with us."

Emily looked up and covered the phone's speaker.  "Did you close our bank accounts?"

"No, of course not," Richard said, tying his tie.  "Don't be ridiculous.  We had $40 million across those.  Where else am I going to put $40 million?"

"Well, Diego from the bank says you did."

She put the phone back up to her ear.  "We didn't close our accounts."

"Everything was withdrawn and the accounts were closed yesterday," Diego said.

"Let me speak to your manager," Emily said.

"What's happening?" Richard asks.

"Someone took our money out."

"Don't blame the-"

"I blame the maid," Emily cut him off.  

Richard sighed.  "Which one?"

"The one I hired yesterday."

"Again, which one?"

"Oh, be quiet."

"Hello?" Diego called.

"Do you have a manager here yet?" Emily asked.

"Yes, she's right here."

She?

"Hello," a woman's voice came through the phone.  "Mrs. Gilmore, I heard you've been having some trouble with your account.  Can you walk me through what happened?"

"Somebody took our money out and closed our accounts."  Richard's tie was finally tied, and now he stood awkwardly in the corner.

"Who has access to your account information?"

"Just Richard and I."  Emily sighed.  "It wasn't either of us.  I blame-"

"not the maid," Richard whispered.

"-the maid," Emily finished, shooting him a look.

"According to our records, the money's been taken out in increments of a few thousand dollars for about two years," the manager said.  "Did you not notice this on your bank statement?"

Emily glanced at Richard.  They both knew that any lost mail was actually the maid's fault.

"No, we did not," Emily snapped into the phone.

"And you're sure you didn't take this money out yourself?"

"No," Emily said.  "Again, we did not.  Now can you get our money back or not?"

"Unfortunately," the manager said, "it's been so long since the last major withdrawal, we need to take some time to investigate who took it.  And you think it might have been...  the maid?"

"Yes, the maid."

"All right, what is your maid's name?"

Emily looked to Richard, who shrugged.  "The maid for this morning is named Constance, but I was out yesterday."

"I'll call the company and ask her name," she said to the phone.

"And we'll keep you updated if we hear anything.  But for now, anything charged to your accounts here will not go through, so you'll have to pay with cash."

Emily repeated this to Richard, who promptly went to fire the maid.  Then, without warning, she hung up the phone and went to look for the money under their mattress.

Gone.

Of course it was.

Stupid maid.

She grabbed her wallet and counted all the money in it.  $117.63.  She never carried much cash, and neither did Richard.

She ran back to the phone and made one more call.

"Lorelai," Emily Gilmore said, "I need your help."