Bad Decisions

I'm a Fucking Mess Sometimes but Still, I Could Always be Whatever You Wanted

Chapter 16 - Sebastian's POV

"Me?" Sebastian repeated. That didn't seem possible. Surely he hadn't actually heard that right. But, no one argued. No one waved their hands and assured him that was wrong. He was astounded at how quickly he could fly through the grief process. First, denial. Sweet and short-lived, as it always was for him.

Then anger. "Me?" He said it once more. Ella turned away; Sebastian saw it just out of the corner of his eye while he looked between Anne and Ominis. They'd known and hadn't breathed a word of it for years.

For years.

"Sebbie," Anne leaned over the table again to grab at his hands. She had that same desperation in her eyes that she'd had in the few times he'd actually been mad at her. For important things, not hexing his socks or eating the last pastry.

He yanked them away. "Me, Anne?"

The anger built in him. Brick by brick—each realization added another to the walls he'd let fall down apparently too soon. Him? Bind a vow between them? No.

Anne didn't flinch when he raised his voice, she never did. Too many years of dealing with Sebastian. But her nostrils flared and she pressed her teeth together. The real way to tell when Anne was upset—her telltale signs were never easy to spot. "Yes, you. You agreed to it."

"I wouldn't," he hissed. He would never. For one, Sebastian wasn't stupid. For two, he'd been in love with Ella. That was his Els. He wouldn't have let Ominis put her life at risk if his own had depended on it.

"You did. Reluctantly, but you did." Anne snapped at him the same way she always did when he lost his temper. She must have already seen it rising in him, not that Sebastian was doing all that much to keep it under wraps.

"Why?" He narrowed his eyes. Ulterior motives? He couldn't really think of any. Unless Ominis just wanted to punish him for Solomon's death that badly. Even that was uncharacteristic of him.

"Because it was that or getting yourself turned in." Ominis had crossed his arms. His own patience grew thin. He'd started being like that anytime Sebastian and Anne argued like he was suddenly allowed to step in the middle of it. "I didn't give you much of a choice, the same way I didn't give Ella much of a choice."

Sebastian didn't believe it, but he was too deep in his emotions to form a coherent argument. Too blindsided by the revelation.

Ominis wouldn't have turned him in.

Would he?

No.

"But I wouldn't have! I would have rather gone." He stopped watching the volume of his voice. He would have never put her in harm's way—he knew himself well enough to know that. Even with his own life on the line, that wouldn't have been an option.

Ominis would have had to force him.

"You honestly think you'd have rather gone away to prison for at least two decades than take a couple of years respite of Ella?"

He gritted his teeth together. Yes, he did think he would have. There were very few things that would have torn him away from Ella, and a damn unbreakable vow was not one.

More importantly, what had Ominis done to force him into it?

It must have been something awful. Something harsh. Sebastian didn't bend easily—his wand was proof of that. He had strict values and no way would he have gone through with that unless there had been cruel repercussions.