secrets i have held in my heart

harder to hide than i thought

this is a joke. iykyk.

(not betaread. set your expectations to ZERO.)

xXxXx

"Are you gay or something?"

Christian used to always ask that sickening question. The question that confused Ivan for far too many reasons.

Of course, it was always lighthearted and said with a certain humor to it. After all, Christian too had questionable habits for a "definite heterosexual man," but it still never really left Ivan's mind. It just sorta... stuck. In a funny way, it was just like another bad tendency to add onto his list of strange behaviors. Behaviors that had definitely included being oddly flamboyant and very eager for so-called platonic male-intimacy.

However... for the longest time, even with all of these jokes of "Bivan"(Courtesy of Curt,) nobody actually took it seriously enough for it to catch on as a real running gag. Even the perpetrator of it, Christian, had gotten bored of it too. And so, it had naturally faded into obscurity after a few years of Recreyo becoming more dedicated to their new line of work. This new job being? A detective agency.

The career path from ragtag adventurers to being investigators wasn't one that made sense. But nevertheless, they took pride in this new lifestyle, and so they didn't have much time left to joke much about anything. Let alone, jokes about Ivan's sexuality.

And yet...

When Ivan found himself staring down at a male, trembling gorilla- two words that just seemed so uncharacteristic with each other- his mind was running at paces that could only be rivaled by his heartbeat. Such a rhythm that echoed the poor animal's name inside of his chest:

Harambe... Harambe... Harambe...

And of course, there was the return of that aching question that once left him fuming. He could still remember Christian's voice uttering the words, even hearing the dip of a teasing tone. And with said man standing next to him in their office, scribbling down notes with a funky-colored pen, Ivan's imagination resurfaced to visualize his lips mouthing the words.

"...Do I have something on my face, or what?"

Suddenly, Christian's real, live voice spoke up, causing Ivan to jump and look at him with wide eyes behind his sunglasses. He cleared his throat, grateful for the dark-shades masking his surprise. (It was never a good idea to let Christian know what you were feeling. This was common knowledge in the office.)

Ivan, after getting his words unstuck out of his throat through a cough, shook his head and leaned cooly against a desk behind him. "Nahh, I just zoned out. Didn't know where else to look."

"Maybe at the person we're meant to be interrogating? Dumbass," Christian said with a snort. Afterwards, he tossed the notepad and pen over to Ivan with a grin. "Don't leave all the work to me."

Ivan forced his gaze over at the gorilla, but it was only a second before he snapped it back over to his coworker, hissing. "But I don't see why I have to do this with you in the first place... this isn't really a two-man job to begin with."

Ivan caught the stray items with a fumbling grip.

Christian blinked blankly at him, tilting his head ever-so-slightly as though to shake his own thoughts around. On what, Ivan didn't even have time to guess. Christian's vague smile returned and his calculating scan was over after just a few seconds.