Author's note>>>>>
Hii, well I decided I will start a book in which I will post my songs. I know that is probably not why y'all are signed into wattpad but I think that they are pretty good and they deserve to see light of the day in this way or another.
A gentle reminder: I write my songs to express the things I feel at the moment, and in the past 6 months those feelings were really deep and dark because I was/am going through a really hard time with my mental health. In some songs I might mention self harm or eating disorder but I will always put TW before it. I love you guys so much and I hope you enjoy this
Hideous pain running through my veins
The whole town is burning down, dense fog flying under street light
Intense screams, yells of ,, what is happening" and ,, Run as fast as you can"
I am sitting next to water thinking about some weird series I watched yesterday with my mom
,, Damn have I ever actually felt enough"
Firefighters, deep breaths, sirens,but the only thing I see is water next to me
Something pulls me back, the aromatic figure probably doesn't know my pain
,, Please push me in the pool"
,, What-" was the last thing I heard before I jumped.
Everything disappears, just my deep breaths and me.
Now that I am drowning, I am realizing this is the first time I'm actually breathing.
The unsymmetrical lines, marron skies, hard breaths, worried faces and now it was all gone.
Floating slowly thinking "Do I regret I haven't done this earlier".
My whole body feels numb, scared screams are turning into the past, my heartbeat echoing around me and light drops of rain are hitting the surface of my saver.
I am slowly replaying past minutes in my head, really asking myself, was it this easy always?
Firefighters, deep breaths, sirens,but the only thing I see is water next to me
Something pulls me back, the aromatic figure probably doesn't know my pain
,, Please push me in the pool"
,, What-" was the last thing I heard before I jumped.
Everything disappears, just my deep breaths and me.
Now that I am drowning, I am realizing this is
first time I'm actually breathing
My chest was heavy now it's light
I was believing too much knowing that belief leads me to being shattered like champagne glass
The dresses were torn, hearts broken on the floor
Waterfalls of tears used splash all over the light
Now it's all just a desolate desert because I was told not to cry.
Paintings and dreams are flying like birds in the sky.
Songs are gonna stay written in a notebook hidden in my drawer in downtown
I really hope you are happy now dad?
Firefighters, deep breaths, sirens,but the only thing I see is water over me
Something is pushing me to get out but I won't
Everything disappears, just my deep breaths and me.
After such a long time I can finally end it
Now that I am drowning, I am realizing this is the first time I'm actually breathing.
Knowing it's all done, in a moment when people would freak out, I stayed there, listened to loud silence, waiting for pain to end, shutting my eyes and taking deep breaths. Not to calm myself, to shut down regret of never doing this before I actually felt my life getting near end.
Author's note>> hope you liked it. If you can't realize what the song is about I will explain and also I don't have a name for this one so feel free to suggest whatever comes to your mind 😊
YOU ARE READING
Is it always my fault?
PoetrySome people express their feelings through texts, through art, through punching yelling etc. but I do that through my songs. My main question that I always have while salty tears are falling onto my paper is ,, Is it always my fault"
