you deserve to feel the same love you give

one

I honestly cannot remember a time when I felt wanted.

I always love more. I fall harder and I cry harder every time someone hurts me. Then I apologize for something that I didn't even do.

It's been about a year since I graduated from high school. And in that entire year, I haven't heard from even one friend from high school. A few months before graduation, I realized that I was the second choice for every one of my so-called best friends. When I addressed how I felt, instead of considering my feelings, they all took it as a personal attack. So I ended every friendship I had.

I thought about every experience I had with anyone I would consider a friend. And it was an eye-opening event. I was constantly seeking acceptance and approval from people that wouldn't even care if I died tomorrow.

I won't say I don't want friends, but I want friends that value me.

And that's why I'm okay with being by myself. The only person I've ever lost and needed back was myself.

Friends care about friends. They make an effort. Friends want to be with you, and for the love of god, friends will support you when you need it the most.

All I want is for someone to actually miss me. Someone who thinks about me, who makes mental notes of things I like, sees things that remind them of me, and someone who loves me with the same strength I love them.

Whoever said you get out what you put in was an idiot. We accept the love we think we deserve and I deserve more, I'm sure of it.