Do you even know how hard it is to be around people? It's suffocating. The person had only could have only asked you a simple question but it made your heart race and then your hands began to shake. You couldn't even act normal on your first day at school, couldn't you? You ruined your chances at possibly having a friend and she's probably going to tell the others how weird you are.
You pretended to be busy with your work so the teacher didn't call on you. You held in any cough or sneezes so that you don't draw attention to yourself. Do you hear that laughter coming from behind you? They're laughing at all your flaws. No matter how much you hate it here, you'll have to endure it for a few more hours. Then you'll go home and complain about how much you hate yourself and your parent's are going to rant about you consistently staying indoors.
They don't know how much I hate myself, they don't know how much I hate coming to school, they don't know how much I want to speak to someone without feeling so uneasy.
I watch as their lips moves, how easy it was for them to talk to someone without being in constant fear that somehow they'd mess up and humiliate themselves. I have always been very careful not to draw too much attention to myself, trying my best not to make any noise . Anything so that I wouldn't risk the chance of humiliating myself.
Why don't you kill yourself?
