Barry the Third Wheel

"Ahahaha! Cut it out, Mark! I'm-ahaha! Re-heehehe-ally ticklish! Ahaha!"

While the collectables on the shelves lining the walls of Elder Rock shook with David and Mark's laughter, Elder Barry sighed. Keeping his back turned to them, not even wanting to KNOW what they were doing on the beanbag chair, he texted his girlfriend.

Barry: How long does the 'Honey-moon Phase' usually last?

Noelani: ...

Barry felt like those little dots blinking on his phone were taunting him. He wished he could be across the country and with his girlfriend right now...

...if only to get as far away from Mark and David's disgusting PDA as humanly possible.

Finally, there was a soft ping. Something to distract him from his best friends since grade school-

Noelani: Still going at it like cats in heat, huh?

-Or maybe not.

Barry resisted the urge to text twenty seven barf emoji's to his girlfriend. Instead he texted:

Barry: I'm about to get the hose. It's been 3 months!

Barry winced and nearly dropped his phone as another high-pitched giggle fit erupted out of David. Followed by the sound of his helmet clanking noisily on the ground.

Noelani: Lol sorry Bear-Bear. Happy Pride!

Barry groaned, dragging his hand across his face.

Barry: Good thing June is a short month...

Noelani texted him a bunch of frowny faces and he sighed.

Barry: Look, don't get me wrong - totally super chill with the fact that my best friends since forever are dating each other in a very "yes, homo" kinda way...

And that was the truth.

For one, the awkward tension you could cut with a replica samurai sword was gone. For a while, Mark and David seemed to be playing a game called 'who could avoid eye contact the longest' (which since Barry suspected they were both on the spectrum, could have gone on for years.)

For two, now that Mark was finally out of the closet, he seemed more relaxed and could unclench his jaw and his ass every once in a while.

(And it turns out, when you're not walking all day long like you're trying to make a fist with your butt because you're afraid of who you are and who you lo-well...like-like...

...you can be a lot nicer. Sometimes.)

And David meanwhile seemed a lot more confident now that he had Mark for a boyfriend. Maybe it was because the poor, over-worked and under-paid Burger Queen employees knew better than to put pickles on David's order now or face Mark's wrath. ('Wrath' meaning him swinging around a foam sword until their patronage was no longer welcome at that particular franchise.)

But it was probably because David had Mark wrapped around his little finger. Not that Mark would ever admit it. But all David had to do was bat his eyes and pout a little and Mark would cave. Every single time.

Barry hated to admit it but...they were...good together. Maybe, when they WEREN'T being disgusting, they could even be kinda sorta...cute.

(Mark could never know he thought that. He would never let him hear the end of it!)

There was another ping! from his phone.

Noelani: ...but?

Barry looked back at their chat log.