Past Hurts

-Four-

TW: graphic violence

She had never seen so much money in all of her life. There was more here just sitting casually on her kitchen table than she would even hope to earn in a couple of years, which was saying something considering Alfie Solomons paid her a more than generous wage. And now he had helped her with the trouble she was in. He really had. He had listened and then he had offered his help. No questions asked. No expectation of repayment. He had helped her because she was one of his now.

Evelyn glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece and closed her eyes. In just a few minutes it would be over. No more running. No more hiding. It would be done.

"It was my brother. I told you that he died so you already know that much. Fell down some stairs drunk; at least that's what his death certificate says," she began, swallowing down another sip of the whisky for the confidence to continue. The look in Alfie's eyes gave her confidence too. "It was raining the day of his funeral. It was miserable and it was cold and as I watched them lower his grave down into the ground, all I could think about was that he never liked being dirty; not before the war and especially not after. Some nights, after he came back, he'd wake me up and he'd tell me he couldn't get the mud out from under his nails; would say he was covered in it. He'd cry and he'd beg me to help him get clean again but how can you help a man who's seeing things that aren't there? So I watched them lowering my brother into that pit of eternal mud and that's when I saw him. I didn't recognise him, but there was just something in his eyes- the way he looked at me- that felt all wrong. The priest said something to me and when I looked over again he was gone.

It was a few days until I saw him again. Turned up at my door with a bunch of white lilies. Told me that he needed something from me and if I didn't give it to him then he'd be laying those lilies on my grave."

She felt Alfie's body tense and saw the way his jaw clenched, and she knew what he was thinking.

"It was nothing like that," she reassured him. "It was money he wanted. Said my brother owed it to him; that he'd been buying snow and opium and he hadn't cleared his debt. I laughed. I think maybe it was the shock and he slapped me, right in my face. Slapped me and said my brother had been laughing too until he had one of his men throw him down the stairs of the pub cellar and left him there to die, listening to his cries of pain. The money; it was more than I had, more than I could afford. I sold everything I could; even sold my mum and dad's wedding rings. I got another job in a pub at night and after weeks and months of him and his men following me and threatening me, I did it. I gave him all of the money that was owed and I thought that was the end of it."

"So that's why you left Leyland then?"

"I just thought... I thought maybe a fresh start would be good for me. I suppose I just thought that there was nothing left for me there and I didn't want to live the rest of my life wondering if they were going to come back and ask for something more."

"And the part about comin' to Camden? Was it really just coincidence?"

"Yes," she nodded, her eyes silently imploring him to believe her. "It really was. Never even heard of Camden before, let alone had any idea that it was in London. I've been happy here the last month or so; really happy. I like my job and I like my little shitty flat. I like coming here every day and listening to you make fun of Ollie for one reason or another, and I like when Cyril comes and sniffs around me when I'm eating biscuits and rests his head on my knee when I'm working. But now, I'm gonna have to leave, aren't I? You've already got enough trouble of your own without me bringing more to your door."

"Trouble's what I'm good at though, aint it?" Alfie grinned dangerously. "So this man, he found you, I take it?"

"Simon Lowes is his name. I couldn't tell you if that's his real name, though. Anyway, I left the deli last week, remember when I called the office and said that I'd eaten something funny on my break and needed to go home?"