Andrew

Thinking

Thinking. Sitting on the transvehicle, watching the world rush by. Thinking about life. Thinking about my life. Thinking about other people's lives. Why are they so different? Why am I so different?

Trapped inside my head, cut off from the world. It's hard being autistic. It's hard trying to be understood. Trying to make sense of the world.

The world doesn't seem right to me. Concrete buildings, circuits controlling everything. The Nexus doesn't seem real. Nothing seems right in the world. Am I the only one who feels this way?

Getting off the transvehicle. Walking up the steps to Education. Getting pushed around. Finally sitting down at my place. And thinking some more.

Why do humans create everything in this world? Why does the Nexus control everything? If no one's perfect, isn't our world doomed to fail? And wouldn't there need to be someone to create humans?

Even if someone did create humans, he must be lost by now. It doesn't seem like anyone cares, like all the world means is to listen to the Nexus. Like all the world means is to obey the Nexus. Everyone seems to feel this way. But I don't.

Why does no one think like me? Why am I so different? Do I even serve a real purpose, outside of the diagram world the Nexus has given us? Is the Nexus even right about the world?

Suddenly, the bell rings, jolting me out of my thoughts.

What am I saying? Of course I trust the Nexus. The Nexus does everything for us.

Besides, what do I know? I'm just the crazy autistic kid. I could never be right about anything. The Nexus is so much bigger, and I'm just a kid. Like I could do anything right.

I pick up my Education work, and head a room, where I'll learn more Education. And then, one day, I'll grow older, and I'll be able to work for the Nexus. What a great system. I could never think of something like that.

So I guess the only thing I should do is follow the bigger government, and go along with the flow. It makes so much sense.

But in the back of my head, I can hear a little voice screaming that this is all wrong.

As I sit down at my chair for the next period of Education, I mentally extinguish that thought. The world feels so much safer now. Nothing could ever go wrong.