Mae

Chapter 1

Seoul 2015

Blood.

Sweat.

Pain.

Mae had pushed her body to the limit, in hopes of gaining approval from her ballet master. She had received a "good work," at the end, as well as a littering of bruises and blisters for her efforts.

Mae strove for excellence every moment of the day, and usually well into the night. Pain was a part of growth and so she had learned to deal with it without making a fuss. When she was hurting, she put on a smile and continued her task, hoping her peers wouldn't notice. Mae didn't want to be thought of as "weak" or "delicate".

Today's lesson started with thirty minutes of barre exercises. Her muscles ached as she moved into a plié in fifth position. Her body was fast remembering its injuries and her hip hop lesson earlier in the day. The next four hours stretched out before her, an endless continuum of precise steps and execution of movement. She lifted her leg into an arabesque a fraction out of time to the music. The ballet master was quick to correct the position of her body.

"Lift your chin higher! Align it with your arm."

Mae lifted her chin as the ballet master went to fix the position of her leg as well. Mae bit her lip as the master lifted her aching leg, and tried not to flinch from the pain. She knew the ballet master was helping her to improve, but it was not a good sign that she had made a mistake so early in the lesson. 

The girls finished at the barre and went to put on their pointe shoes. The pink satin of Mae's shoes were stained from use and the inside contained a few smudges of blood. She hoped the cloth would stop any fresh blood from seeping through. She walked to the back left corner and held the start position for the start of her solo variation. Mae relevéd onto her toes, ignoring the pain that was screaming at her to stop. Dance was what she lived for. 

⋆ ♫ ♪ ♫ ⋆

Mae flopped onto her bed in her dorm. Her roomate wasn't there, and for that she was thankful. Mae stuffed her blood-stained pointe shoes into her bag. The cloth had worked for a while, but she hadn't expected her old wounds to bleed so much. The shoes had gone soft from use and she would have to sew ribbons on a new pair. Mae resolved to sew them that night. 

After only allowing a brief moment of rest, she rose up from the bed and filled a bucket of ice water to minimise bruising. She set it down by the bed and sat down again. Mae rolled up her stockings, glad that they were black. Peeling the cloth and plasters off of her feet was not pleasant, but it was necessary. Her toes had bled a lot more than she had hoped and now she needed to tend to her wounds. 

Sinking her aching feet into the ice bath was so refreshing. Mae sank back into her mattress and closed her eyes as she removed her hair pins and let her thick, black hair fall about her shoulders, the dark purple ends curling just above the small of her back.

After the ice bath Mae got up and dressed. She untied her chiffon skirt and changed out of her leotard and stockings and stuffed the outfit into her drawer. She then put on some loose jeans, a purple hoodie and some thick, dark socks to hide her hurting feet. She slowly made her way to the fourth floor. On this level of the building were the common rooms and study rooms. She entered a room that the Bangtan Boys used to use.

The room was made of four smaller rooms, one furnished with a few desks, at which Mae did her homework occasionally, another with a few couches, a small kitchen, and a back room that was bare for the purpose of stretching or practising dance steps. Mae used the small kitchen to make some instant ramen to eat while she stretched out her muscles before they cooled and got tight and achy.

After nearly inhaling her ramen to quiet her rumbling stomach, Mae lay down on the floor of the back room and began her stretches. She was lost in her own thoughts when a door slammed, jarring her back to reality. Jungkook must be back from his lessons. She lay there on the floor, too exhausted to move and not at all interested in the thought of ascending a flight of stairs again. Her muscles felt bruised and her bones ached. Her toes had blisters and her eyelids were heavy. She had pushed her body to its limit and now she was too weak to find the motivation to stand. A single tear trailed down her cheek.

I will be brave. I will be strong, she thought. I can do better.

Mae heard footsteps in the hallway and quickly brushed away the silver trail that streaked across her face. A soft knock at the door made her sit up.

"Come in."

There were only a few people she felt like talking to right now, and one of them was Jungkook. 

⋆ ♫ ♪ ♫ ⋆

A tall boy with soft brown hair entered the room and sat down beside Mae on the floor. He held an ice pack to his knee and let out a sigh of exhaustion.

"Hey. How was dance class?"

Mae groaned.

"I loved it, but I'm so sore." She grinned, "this is what we live for though, right?"

"It sure is," Jungkook said as he tickled her.

"How was your dance lesson?" Mae returned.

"It feels like my back is broken," he winced. 

Mae hugged him and they sat there and listened to the sounds of the other students moving around in the rooms next door. They stayed there for a long while, mustering the strength to stand and move around again.

After some time had passed, Mae said goodbye to Jungkook and traversed the hallways until she came to the fifth study room in hallway two. The sound of laughter and screaming floated out of the open door. She stood in the doorway with her arms full of books and a bag hanging off her shoulder, observing a chaotic and confused game of tag.