Residue

6. Reminiscence

The skies were suddenly a macabre grey as heavy sheets of rain began to pour. Great, she thought. Even the Heavens are weeping. After all, the world did just lose one of the brightest stars - and it was all my fault.

Her long, athletic legs mercilessly pounded on the water-freckled pavements. She took deep breaths as she did not stop, aiming to run into somewhere shaded and guarded from the public eye.

She had no clue what she would do.

Thoughts and intermittent flashes of his face obscured her already clouded vision. It was surreal.

No more 'banter'.

No more annoyingly endearing versions of her name.

No more of his contagious laugh.

No more of his radiant smile that made anyone happy, despite the mood they were in.

No more help with her homework.

No more of his selflessness - making sure she could smile, never revealing his own emotions.

No more of his chiseled jaw, chocolate hair - in a man bun with a professional fade.

No more of his sweet words.

No more of his cologne.

And sadly, she would never hear those three powerful words coming from his plump pink lips.

He was gone, but her heartbreak would never leave her - especially the crushing guilt she felt.

She ran until she reached a park far from him. She sat in one of the bushes, trying to regain her composure. She covered her trembling hands over her mouth, trying to stop the sobs from ripping from her throat.

What now?

She was lost.

She was utterly and irrefutably alone in this world and she could not stop the crack in her heart growing into a gaping hole.

She heard Rum in the back of her head. ''We have each other,'' she sounded gentle, as if Ephedra would break at any given moment.

''But we don't have him.''

She hated the way her voice cracked. She did not deserve to feel so much self-pity when she was the cause of her own heartache.

''Since when did we rely on others for our happiness?'' Rum wistfully whispered.

Tears were flowing abundantly down the scared girl's face.

''When did we ever feel happiness since Dad died?''

Rum remained silent, not knowing how to answer her. The truth was, she could not remember feeling anything but emptiness as she always swapped with Ephedra every time her mother beat her. She came into existence to protect Ephedra, she did not have time to dwell on her own thoughts.

She wished she had a body of her own - just to feel everything life had to offer. She wanted her own toes, her own fingers, her own lips, her own beating heart, her own happiness.

That was impossible so she gave up long ago on her dreams. She promised she would help Ephedra with her own dream - to get away from her mother. Now that that dream was accomplished, Rum felt her presence in Ephedra's mind get weaker.

This is it. That's all life had to offer me, she thought to herself knowing Ephedra could hear her.

''What do you mean, Rum? And speak louder, I can barely hear you.''

''Thank you for everything, you stiff prude. Live and make something of your life. Your past will never, ever define you! Don't you dare ever give up. Make your own happiness! If you can't do that for me, do it for you!'' She screamed hoping her host heard her.