NANNA JOY'S HOUSE

My mum grew up in an extremely ancient house, that stands on a hill and looks a bit crooked and like it's about to fall apart. Mum's nan still lives there and we call her Nanna Joy.

Nanna Joy is strange. She has a wild look in her enormous round eyes, and a very pointy nose. There's one single, long black hair that grows from her chin and when she's thinking, she like to twirl that hair around her very bony finger. Nanna Joy is so old, she has very few teeth left, so she mostly eats soft food like pumpkin soup, stews and ice cream.

Her hair is long and grey and sometimes when she takes her beanie off, it stands up straight, like antennae, and my dad says she contacting her relatives in outer space. She speaks with a shrill voice and likes to sing in the bathroom. Nanna Joy looks really old, but she's as fit as a fiddle and often climbs onto the roof of the rickety cottage to rescue Salem, her curious cat.

Salem is Nanna Joy's constant companion. She talks to Salem, and at night he sleeps on a cushion on her bed. I think Salem is a crazy cat. He loves to chase birds, mice and lizards and sometimes forgets he hates water, and pounces into the birdbath, hoping to grab a fat pigeon. Instead, he cries and meows loudly, shaking the water off his coat, arches his back and slinks back into the warm house, dripping wet and totally disillusioned.

Behind the old rickety house is a dense forest filled with animals. During Summer the frogs come down to the house, to sing their frog song, loud and clear. There are frogs in the empty buckets left outside, frogs in the drainpipes and frogs in the outdoor dunny. There are green tree frogs, grey frogs with speckled legs and teeny tiny brown frogs that live in the long grass. Salem doesn't care for frogs, because they jump too high, too quickly, and taste terrible.

Once Nanna's sister Marjory, who lives in the city, was visiting and went to the outside dunny. She had hardly sat down, when she came out running, and screaming all the way down the hill, while trying to pull up her undies. Unaware of the commotion, was a rather large and very friendly python, curled around the dunny door frame. Marjory's nerves were totally shattered and after a strong cup of tea and much comforting and consoling, Nanna had to ask her neighbour Billy, to drive Marjory back to the city. I don't think Marjory returned for another visit.

In Summer the cicadas create a deafening, constant chorus, competing with the chirping birds and buried crickets. My sister and I like to lie in the hammocks on the veranda, swaying gently, eating watermelon and sticky ice creams. Nanna makes us sit outside and without warning, sneaks up on us and sprays us with the hose, washing away all the stickiness.

I love visiting Nanna Joy and her crooked house, sometimes I wish I could live there.

*****