Last Chance

BREAKING POINT

May 18,2014

Natasha been asking me some question these past three days, it's been the same but would my words even matter if she won't listen?

Even if i plead her to let me explain, it would always go to a circulations of fight

I woke up at seven in the morning and made her, her favorite food a tocino with egg, as i saw her coming over to me with a face of a cute mad little boar, I can't help but stare at her cause i know how this will go by. Chaos

"Goodmor.."
"shut up, my day isn't great cause you're here"

Even a little word i utter she isn't willing to hear because of a one big mistake or should i say accident?

...................

My morning went by, by doing house chores, watching movie,sleeping, waiting for my loved ones to arrive.

My husband is at work for two whole day and he said he will arrive this afternoon as i was waiting, i decided to go to anatasha's room as i was looking around memories occupy my head

"mom, on a capacity of 100% how much do you love dad?" she ask me with a sweet genuine smile

"oh gosh, love on a capacity of 100%,hmm maybe 40%" I answered

"40? Why, don't you love dad?"

"I do love your dad, but the 60% is for you, dont you want that?"

"oh, but i won't need that much"

"i don't think so"

"yup, forty percent is enough for me and dad, and ofcourse you should have to love yourself twenty for you, if it's alright"

"it is alright, aww our baby is old already" i said while faking my sobs

"aww come on don't cry mom"

"yea, she is" also faking his sobs

"umm, not you too come on mom, dad" looking worriedly

"were joking alright, hahahhahaa" he said laughing and the room then filled with laughter

After a couple of minutes, i just sat in her bed silently, alone... They are nowhere to be found right now in this moment

I cried and cried for minutes or hours asking myself why do this things happend to me, when in the past years that wen by I've been a good daughter and wife, I asked myself

What if those things did not happen to me would i still be happy only living with my husband right now?
Would be a anatasha be created?
Is it a good thing or bad?
Good thing because anatasha was created?
And bad because i was drugged and abused, and a child was born due to it all?

I stopped crying and shedding tears when my maid, knocked in the door i was in. I make sure that there were no tears flowing in my eyes and cheeks
When i go out of the room i also retouched my make up

"ma'am, miss anatasha is already in the living room"

I walked downstairs going to the living room to see my daughter, it was two in the afternoon and when i got there she was already crying, i ran towards her as fast as i can, I tried asking what's wrong but its like to her i am only a ghostshe only handed me her bag and thought i was a maid, I was still silent until she ask a question

"mom, why did you cheat to dad, why would you in the first place when you've been in a great life with us"

Mom? She called me mom... I miss it when she calls me that

"there's been an accident.."

"No, no, no, stop! I dont want to hear it"

"please love, listen to me first"

"no mom, i heard everything from dad, every. single. night. He begged me not to leave him, if ever i knew that he wasn't my father" she said screaming to me while she was crying

I tried to hug her but she pushed me away from her, with all her strength and i fall unto the ground, hitted my hand on the sofa, and i tried to reach her again with my arms

"NO! Don't you dare touch me with your filthy hands, is it truethat the father i knew was not the real one? And i was a daughter of another men, whom you had sex with on the same day, you had sex with dad? She said screaming still crying this time

And just a glimpse my hands reach unto her cheeks made unto a hard slap, on the other hand her father just arrived and ran towards her as she was crying in his arms

"no, no, no baby im sorry, i act so impulsively"

Aaron turned to me angrily walking towards me giving me a slap on the cheeks real hard, my mind went blank as i fsll unto the tiles all i coulddo was cry.

"why would you slap your own daughter are you crazy?" he said looking at me with raging hatred in his eyes

"love, i didn't mean to, please tell her that"

"no, please get out of this house and think of the things you've done" he said pushing me out of the house while ana is on the sofa still crying, he throws my phone in the floor.

"call me when you're already are in in the right mind, and think all this things throughly, vin"

Oh god trouble, he only calls me in my nickname when it take months for us to be in good terms, again.

As i see the door slowly closes, i ran towards the door and plead him to open it up.

"no, no, no please alov3, let me in, i need to talk with my daughter please, i beg you don't do this"

"you know how much you messed up this time vin, and you hurt her, i won't allow it to happen again!"

"it was an accident pleasee"

As i sat there were no voice beside the door it was just silence and slowly i got up so i walked slowly going somewhere, where my feets leads me to.

2hen i think about things that happened or prolly what just happend, yeah he is right, i need to think about everything, i just hurt my precious daughter, ut was the first time, i have hurt her

"im sorry natasha, my love"

I saw a park and that park was our hangout place those times when natasha almost got into an accident in the monkey bars cause she can't reach on the other one, that was the first time she was crying and now she is a total different person whom tell you what is wrong and right and lecture you such things.

I cant have the courage to face my daughter right now, I was just crying when i feel a hand with a handkerchief on my mouth and slowly shutdown into reality or the world that i am in.