A Balancing Act | H.S. (completed)

Chapter 1: Room 1900 & the Painting

Chapter Summary: Meeting Harry Styles at the hotel she was staying at was a surprise. But to have him invite her to his room for a drink was unexpected.

Word Count: 17,748

Reader commissioned

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Harry remembers the days when he used to go into his therapist's office for his sessions. But after fame hit the paps knew where he was going, learned his schedule, and he was constantly bombarded. And of course, the fans caught on so there'd be screaming people trying to get his attention as he hopped from his car to the back entrance.

Lately, though, she'd been coming to his house instead. She charged more for in-house visits but Harry wasn't bothered by the extra cost. Her time and flexibility were worth it to him so he'd happily pay the added fee.

They normally sat in his office together for the sessions. It was always like chatting with a close colleague when he'd have her over. Harry would usually have pastries and green juice or matcha to share and they'd talk about their week. She'd even talk to him about hers a little. Which always made him feel so comfortable around her. It invited him to really open up and he learned to be vulnerable with her over time.

He'd been seeing her since his One Direction days which meant in-person visits weren't always possible if he was traveling, but Pat took a lot of late-night calls and FaceTime time sessions over the years. And Harry trusted her more than he trusted most people. She'd earned his trust. She'd heard his deepest, darkest secrets and knew all the dirty details about all of his past loves and flings. She wasn't a sex therapist but she often gave him advice that helped him in that department.

And today she was doing just that. Listening to him drone on about his last lover, the older woman with two children who left her fiancé to be with him. He felt bad about everything in their relationship – from the beginning, he knew it wasn't going to last and it was only meant to be a quick fling. But then he did develop feelings (Harry loved to fall in love and it was usually quite messy) against his better judgment. And then when she left the father of her children it became even more complicated.

"I just felt like I owed her. She'd given up so much for me and it was crazy of me to feed into that. I should have told her then and there that we wouldn't end up together but I think a part of me just wanted to have the stability. But instead, it just dragged on for too long." Harry had recently seen her at an event and she ignored him, just as he ignored her, but that didn't mean it didn't affect him because here he was in therapy with Pat talking about her.

Pat tapped her pen on her notepad and nodded. She'd heard all this before. But the guilt he felt was continually bubbling up and pouring out in their sessions even though they'd been broken up for the better part of a year.

"Harry, let's talk about that. The stability part. Do you feel like you still need to be in a relationship to be stable? We've worked on this in the past and it sounds like that's still a constant in your romantic attitude."

Harry knew he was someone that just loved being with someone. Long-term, a week, a night... he just enjoyed the attention and he loved giving attention. And he was good at it. Well, he gave a lot of himself even if the relationship wasn't serious. That's just how he was.

"I know I need to be more confident to be alone and not have someone in my bed or my life all the time. I mean, I haven't even had sex in like, a month."

Pat laughed and shook her head, "I know Harry. And probably the whole world too. I know how hard that is for you – to never be able to have any privacy even if it's just something fun," she paused as nodded, "And so a month... That's not really that long, but I'm assuming you're referring to the model you were with in Tokyo about month ago? Pictures of you two were plastered everywhere."