Words of Erotica

The Ex

I knew that what I was doing was so wrong. Oh, on so many levels, but there just wasn't anybody or any thing that pleased me as much as he did. I was ruined already, and the only way forward was to ruin myself again. And again.

It wasn't everyday that I blocked out a good two hours just to pleasure myself. It has been months, in fact. I threw open the curtains, pushed up my window, and dimmed the lights in my room, so people outside could just about see a silhouette of a naked woman inside. I thought it was thrilling. Borderline public indecency. But like in most male dominated neighbourhoods like mine,  it doesn't matter.

I placed a foot on my window sill and started massaging my oil onto my skin, starting from my toes and working my fingers up to my thigh. And then the other leg. It felt good to touch so much of my own body, after ignoring its needs for so long. I brought my fingers up to my hips, gently squeezing the bottle of oil onto my body.

Taking a couple of steps back, walking toe-heel, I laid down on the bed. It was tempting to touch myself exactly where I knew I had to, but all I could think of when I closed my eyes was the way he'd instruct me. And the way I'd follow, like a desperate bitch.

So I spread the oil up to my navel, slathering other parts of myself that were so alien to touch for so long.

I remembered the way he'd hover right above my waist, and gently blow cool air onto my clit. Instinctively my hand went down to shield myself from the cold, but I stopped it.

Just my imagination.

I spread my legs further apart, letting the chill of the wind outside reach me. Dragging my hands back up felt like ripping my grip off of my candy. I circled my nails around my nipples, carefully trying to control my breathing.

If he were here, he'd definitely grab my throat. My other hand reached my throat. I couldn't believe he still had this affect on me, after trying to block him out for so many days. All that was secondary. The only thing on my mind was carnal pleasure, and I was going to give it to myself, exactly the way he did. Or at least attempt to.

My breathing staggered when I tightened my grip too much around my neck, and loosened it a little. I moaned a little, letting my other hand finally touch my lips. The wind made me buckle my hips a little, and that was all it took to make my finger slide into my folds. I gasped.

I was wet.

"Finally."

Suddenly I pulled my finger out and covered myself. I saw someone sitting on the edge of my window, and I pulled my legs together and covered my breasts with my hands.

"Who is it?" I yelled, even though the guy was a couple of feet away from me.

So much for exhibitionism. My heart rate picked up and I squinted to see the man better. I couldn't turn on the lights, because seeing him meant that he would see me too.

"Out of sight, out of mind, huh princess?" He sighed, and stayed exactly where he was, swinging his legs back and forth.

I knew exactly who this was. My face burned up. And the heat rushed down to the back of my neck, my spine, and my lower abdomen. I was burning in less than a few seconds. Nothing I covered up was anything he hadn't seen before, but I still couldn't find it in me to turn the lights on. At least this way, he wouldn't see how red I had turned.

But he'd feel it, judging by the heat I fucking radiated.

"Carry on, doll. For me," he prompted.

My heart stopped. I wanted to, so bad, but my hands were frozen in shyness, and I could barely say a word. I still had an urge to follow his instructions. I wanted to do anything he asked for, not a second later than he did.