I didn't mean to.

I'm sorry.

P.o.v of { Ivory Dane }

I'm sorry I let you die. I didn't mean to. I froze up and my nerves and muscles disappeared. I didn't mean to, I promise.

7/3/23. I am 13. Me and my family were at an amusement park for 4th of July. Me and my little brother were at the top of a huge slide. He didn't want to go on it, but I peer pressured him into doing it. We got to the top of what seemed like a million stairs. We were in line waiting to take a turn on the slide. I was taking pictures of the view, then I hear behind me, "Sissy, help me!" I turn around and my brother was hanging on the edge of a 120 foot drop. "Help, Ivory! Please!" I stared, didn't know what to do. My muscles were aching, my mind was screaming at me. In my head I rushed over and helped him up, hugging him tighter than ever before. But that's not this case. His hands slipped and he dropped. I felt tears fall down my face like a waterfall as I looked over the edge at the growing puddle of blood. My little brother's blood. And it was on my hands. Everything faded gray immediately. I rushed down the stack of stairs and ran over to my mom and dad as they were both breaking down next to my dead brother with 911 to ear. They had blood on their hands and knees. I knew my life would never get worse than this, as I stared at my brother's blood with an emotionless face but tears falling to the ground. I'm a murderer of my own blood.

Suddenly it was dark, bright blue and red lights were everywhere. Me and my parents were speaking to the police. I get questions like "what happened?" "Did you see what happened?" "Did you try to help him?" I couldn't answer honestly. The only things I said was "...y-yeah." and "I-I Don't know." That's all I knew how to say in a situation like this.

It's been a week now. I keep having nightmares and flashbacks of the tragedy. I think my parents still hate me. They stopped having dinner with me. It's like a "fend for yourself" day but it's on going. I can barely even speak. I have this overwhelming gray cloud that is surrounding me. I think I'm going insane. I haven't eaten in about 3-4 days. I feel like I'm gonna puke. The thought of taking care of myself when I should've taken care of my brother makes me sick to my stomach. I almost want to... Nevermind. I don't even want to get out of bed. All my friends are boring me, nothing makes me smile anymore. I just want to go back in time and fix things. I still hear his voice saying "Ivory, Ivory! Come look at this!" And I would normally reject him and call him annoying. Now I wish I would've looked at whatever he wanted me to. I miss him. I hear his screams for help every day. It sickens me. I sicken myself. I can't look in the mirror.