a world once so big

Thursday, April 24th, 2053.

It's been a week since that day. When I try to remember exactly what happened on Friday the 18th, my mind gets blurry. I can't help but get the feeling it was something important.

The Nothingness moves a centimeter and a half per second, I think, but whatever it is, I realized that I have enough time to look around. Yet no matter where I look, I can't find anyone. Not even animals. But what's funny though, is that wherever I go, there are always geese. I guess they're just as good at running away as me.

Today, I'm in Stockton. I know I've been moving slow, but It's hard to leave the place you've been raised in since the moment you've been born. Everything I've ever known is in San Francisco.

Actually, I can't say that. Everything's gone.

Once I had gotten really far from the Nothingness, I decided to look around a forgotten carnaval. It was the asparagus festival. What even is that? I looked around to see rides and booths, but I let any hope die on doing them. Not only was there no one to run them, but I had already outlived any sort of childhood a long time ago. Maybe if my kids were here, I'd be doing all this with them. I'd say I'm a pretty strong man, but not even I could withhold the water flowing down my eyes. I wish I had been there for them when they needed me. I wish I hadn't spent my time gambling and drinking when I had a family waiting for me at home. The best family in the world. If there was anyone alive to listen to me, I'd tell them not to waste what they have. If you hear me, I want you to know that there is not a second worth of time in this world that you can ever get back.

The world is just that cruel.

Behind me I heard a sound; a glass shatter. I felt my lungs explode and my face melt. The sound came from the 'Fun House.' Suddenly a torrent of hope engulfed my chest and I ran as fast as I could inside of it, but I don't think I ran faster than the hope circling in my veins. Running like I was back in the drafts of World War III again, I opened the door to see dummies surrounding me. But I pushed forward, until I heard a mumble in the maze ahead of me. I saw flashes of being with another person in my eyes. The feeling of flesh against my own, hearing a voice that wasn't mine, and just seeing the image of a beautiful, divine human being looking at me and smiling. When I saw the source of the sound I felt absolutely shattered with this possibility. I stopped for a moment to let it sink in, but you can't just fit the ocean into a little glass cup. Picturing a living being smiling back at me, I pushed back the curtain and saw my own ugly self in the mirror looking back at me. Oh! you're never getting out of here!, a clown behind me lit up.

I was never going to find anyone. Never.