My Little Wolf

2. Who is He?

Someone is holding my hands. We are running happily in the forest between thick trees and plants. It's beautiful and I could see every different shades of green. I can tell it's definitely a dream because I have never seen lush forest like this in my lifetime. I feel happy holding the hands of the man who is running before me. I could not see his face. But I can feel both of us are happy. He is wearing a white shirt and his hair is brownish and shines in sunlight. I feel like I am with a prince who is deeply in love with me. We reached a waterfall. The flowing water shines in the sunlight and the spattered water reflects rainbow colors. Everything looks like a fairy tale. We both are giggling. We are admiring the view and still I have not seen his face. May be I have not seen him in this dream but I feel like I know him very well. His happiness radiates in me. He jumps into the water and I follow him. He came out of water and called for me. "Nyx, Nyx" His voice felt like music to me. I was like a rat which is attracted to the pied piper's music. I tried to reach the surface but I was unable to come out. He called me again and I could sense panic in his voice. Something was pulling me downward, inside the water. I tried to shrug it off, but its hold was tight. My prince came to rescue. I was unable to see his face under the water. He tried to reach me. But some force was pulling me beneath. Slowly I was losing my consciousness. Suddenly, I was in the dark. Fear raised in my body. "Had a beautiful dream, princess?"

I woke up with a sudden jolt. How this is happening? I had a beautiful dream. Though it is a dream, my heart was filled with happiness and warmth. But within a few seconds it turned out to be nightmare. I think its not due to reading books. Something is happening with me. Am I losing my mind? Do I need to see a psychiatrist? My brain is filled with questions. I looked at my clock. Five minutes left for six. I can start to get ready for college. Its early but no problem. I can try to prepare breakfast on my own.

I heard the loud thud of the main door closing. It's all because of me. My plan to make breakfast went downhill and ended up in a fight with my mother. We don't often fight, but if we fought it will end up in tears. "Rayzel, how many times I have told you not to come to the kitchen. See, now you've burned your finger." My mother told me while showing my finger under the tap. I hissed when the water touched my burnt figure. "However busy I am I will not make you cook because you're not good at it and end up getting hurt." She said with anger laced with care. "I tried to take some burden from you. Because you're always tired working in the café and preparing food in the home." I expressed my notion sincerely. "Did I say I am tired or did I ask you to help me? It's good if you do your own work without making a mess in the name of help. Now I need to clean this up and head to the café which will end up in its late opening." She yelled in anger. "I am sorry. I will clean, you go to work" I said apologetically. "With your injured hand and it will cause health issues which may end up in hospital bills." She spoke pointing out the money. I know she is struggling but she should not have mentioned it like that. It hurts. I understand she is a single mother and she is struggling to make the ends meet but the words uttered by her now are too much to take. "I did not ask you to waste your time or money on me." I mumbled sadly. She realized what she spat out in anger. "You could have married someone and lived happily instead of pointing out me as your burden." I said in the verge of crying. "I am already married and I have a husband and a daughter. So, don't speak of remarriage again in front of me", she said calmly. "He left you and you're still calling him as your husband." I spoke with anger. "Enough" she said calmly. "May be you have your husband but I dont have a father." I spoke with frustration which I got throughout the years when people used to laugh at me for not knowing my father. It hurts when watching other children with their father happily and me feeling aloof looking at them. I can't tell what happened to my father to the children who mock at me. Because I myself don't know if he is dead or alive? Or if he left my mother and me for another woman? My mother will not answer if I ask something about my father. She will divert me when I was small and now she will just ignore. And from her behavior I understood as a grown-up that may be I am a mistake made by someone and she has to take care of till her end. But now she tells she is married. I am so confused now. With these thoughts, tears start to pour from my eyes uncontrollably. She did not speak further and I went to my room. Nice way to start a day.