Just your typical college romance with fake dating sprinkled on top, along with a little sparkle of forced proximity....and oh did I mention it's her best friends brother who she'll be dating? Her best friends brother who's the hockey team captain...
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It's scary knowing that any time could be the last time you talk to someone. I've always kept this in mind and I knew it would happen at one point, we all did, but there was no way we could've prepared ourselves for that moment. Every day I'm trying to learn to live around the loss of her.
Sometimes I just wish she was here so I could tell her how much I need her and how much I would give to hug her one more time. I still remember her voice, though it's started to fade a little and I hate it, so I keep watching old videos just to hear it again.
We lost my mom-Iris Jane-to breast cancer 10 years ago. She was already on stage 2 when we found out, and though the doctors said it was curable during this stage, 12-year-old me didn't believe them. I was 12 but I wasn't stupid. She was given all kinds of treatments; chemotherapy, surgery, radiation therapy, all of it. The doctors kept saying it could be cured but then she reached stage 3. Even then, we were told it's curable but with excessive treatment. I didn't believe them but still had a tad bit of hope.
That little flicker of hope blew out when she reached stage 4. That's when the cancer spread to her lungs and it got so bad, she had difficulty breathing and could barely talk properly. It was painful to watch her go through that but not be able to do anything.
Every night I would go into Mom and Dad's room, and place a finger inches away from her nose to check if she was breathing or not. Most nights I'd have to go to Freya's room to calm her down because she would be crying so loud, it'd wake me up. She was only 10 then.
My mama passed away with me in her arms. That night I had insisted on sleeping in her bed, her arms were around me and I was resting my head on her chest when I jolted up from my sleep. She soothed me down, weakly kissed my head, and started talking to me about how proud she is of me. She could barely talk but that night she said more than she usually could. She told me how I should chase my dreams and take care of my sister and myself. I just listened to her voice and clung to every word so tight. I calmed down, hugged her tighter, and fell asleep right there.
I'm not sure why I woke up again, probably because I felt cold but I wish I hadn't woken up at all because a few moments after waking up, I realized her heart wasn't beating. I couldn't hear her heartbeat, there was no sound in her chest. My head lay still on her chest, waiting for a sound but it wasn't there and her hands were cold when I touched them. That's when I screamed, loud enough to rattle the house.
Life went on but it was never the same again and I don't think it ever will be.
She was the most beautiful woman ever, with green eyes that I inherited, auburn red hair that neither I nor my sister got, and a big bright smile. Oh, what I wouldn't do to be with her one more time. I'd give anything just to hear her melodic voice again. She was a great singer too and would put Me, Freya, and even Nova back to sleep.
Something clashes in the distance and I gasp loudly, being pulled out of my thoughts. "Dear god," I mutter under my breath, walking into the kitchen from the backyard door when I see Dad picking up an empty pot, cursing.
