deuxième vie

The one, the last

falling for you was easy
it gave me warmth and security
it gave me smile for nothing
at that time
being in your arms
was the best decision i've ever made
giving you my hand
made you my home
i know at that time
i was yours
my futur was promise in your eyes
you were the smile on my face
you were my strength

you made me look at you
in a way i've never looked
at anyone else before
i gave myself to you
without taking the decision
i gave you my heart
without taking the decion
You took it
without taking the decision
it just happen
in a beatiful way

let you go is anything but easy
while i close my eyes
i'm seeing yours
while I lay my body in bed
i feel the lack of your's
while i'm crying
i hope you are sleeping well
while you're in my thoughts
I know I'm not in yours anymore
while i try to forget you
i hope you dont forget me
while i gave you my love
you take yours back

you asked me why I'm in love with you
but really
how could i not..
being in love with every details
your sense of humour
your big heart
your voice
your look
that eyes
that smile
all the little things
you dont like about you
how could i stop the need
to take care of you
how could i forget
your tuch on my back at night
the little kiss you gave me the morning
before you go to work
our memories
how could i not love you
please..
tell me..
how can i not...

as soon as I was with you
I felt complete
I felt found
i felt yours
And i know..
i just know..
it was you..
you were my person..

It's you, that i want to talk with after a hard day
It's you, with whom I can complain about anything and everything
It's you, with whom we can tell bad jokes but laugh until it hurts
It's you, who manages to make me smile even when things are going badly
It's you, the first one that i think when something bad or good happen in my life
It's you, the one that i think first when i wake up and the last i think of before i sleep
It's you with whom I can share everything without judgment
It's you, the one with whom I feel more myself
It's you, the one with whom i lought harder

I knew that i want
my life with yours
I knew that the need
of thaking care of you wont stop
and sometimes i wonder..
if you remember the way we looked at each other
how much we were found..
or am i crazy..
am i the only one...
I was dreaming of a woman
that will chose me
i was dreaming of a woman
for whom I wouldn't be an option
And I thought it was you...
Because that's how I feel about you...

its so fk hard...

I did'n...
I never imagined that one day I wouldn't be enough...
I believed in it..
I believed your promises..
I believed everytime you told me "I love you"
I believed in your look
I believed your kisses..
I believed when you said that it was me..
I believed...

i'v choose you everyday.
Even if it wasnt alway pink.
Event if it was darker
I choose you every day...

I didn't want anyone before I met you..
I did not choose to fall on you
I didn't choose to fall in love
And I gave you everything...
without choosing anything..
I gave myself to you...

it's killing me...
I hate myself so fk much..

you were home
we were not perfect
but you were my home..
you were my world..
you were the future that i want..
i just want to wake up..😭

I cry every night before I sleep and every morning when I wake up..
every day I wake up with the desire to die in my stomach
every late night
I refrain from writing to you « I love you »
I miss you...
because i'm scared
that you dont want me in your life anymore
I try to do everything
to dont think about us
I try to do everything
to dont fall on a memories of us
Everything makes me think about you
and it hurts so much..
and then i take fk pills...
i really try to hate you..
i really try...
i just..can't...

I love you...
probably its not great..
probably its not enought
probably...
but its real...
and its true...
and it's you...
it's only you...

and i hate myself so much😭

~~~

Je dois avoir passer une trentaine de minute à essayer de choisir quel texte j'allais t'envoyer

J'en avais écris tellement, de colère, de rancune, de douleur et finalement..
Je crois que celui-ci était le bon..

J'en suis désoler...
De te faire lire ceci...
Vraiment...
Simplement...
Je voulais que tu sache une dernière fois...

J'ai toujours essayer de faire le mieux pour toi..
de dire et d'agir pour être la meilleure personne possible pour toi...
Vraiment...
T'étais ma personne..
Je pensais..
qu'en étant toujours l'à pour toi
Qu'en te montrant mon amour..
Qu'en t'étant fidèle et loyal
Je saurais bien...
Aujourd'hui j'ai compris..
Que ce n'était pas la bonne chose pour toi..
Qu'a présent ce n'était plu ce que tu avais besoin...
Même si c'est la chose la plus difficile pour moi..
J'ai compris qu'aujourd'hui, tu as besoin que je te laisse partir pour que tu sois heureuse..

La femme de ma vie...
je dois la laisser partir
Tu sera la premiere
pour qui mon malheur sera moin important que son bonheur
Je l'accepte...
que tu es plus heureuse sans moi..
je l'accepte...
Et je te laisse partir..
Et je te promet que sava aller...
Je t'aime
Tu sera toujours ma personne..
Et je te souhaite de trouver...
Quelqu'un ou quelque chose..
Que tu aimera autant que je t'aime...