《If we ever meet again..》

Chapter. 1

  《The time of leave》

(FT:
Chuuya Nakahara(Age:19)
Dazai Osamu(Age:19))

  Dazai is breaking the news to Chuuya that he doesn't want to be Chuuya's partner anymore and wants to ask one final question before he leaves.

  Maybe Dazai would like to say something to Chuuya, but he is afraid.

  Chuuya is walking next to Dazai after another mission. Dazai looks silent and thoughtful. he does not pester and does not joke as usual.

Dazai: ... I don't want to be your partner anymore.

  He doesn't look up at Chuuya, but instead the two continue moving forward in a slow pace. Dazai's eyes slowly gaze up at the sky, not really seeing anything beyond his thoughts. He has made up his mind and seems like he's ready to walk his path alone once more.

  His face has this sad and lonely look about it, but his expression remains calm.

Chuuya:...Why?

  It was silent for a bit of a while.

Dazai: I want to be alone.

  A very simple response, but maybe it should be a good answer for Chuuya.

  Dazai was never one to beat around the bush. The question was, would Chuuya understand? It had become a pattern in Dazai's life for the few times he had close friends, they would either leave or they would die.

  There would be no one left in his life but himself anymore, but at least he could live the way he wanted. It was a lonely fate, but Dazai had accepted that fact.

Chuuya: Okay.

  Chuuya seemed rather calm about this. He did not seem to be effected by him leaving.

Dazai: But I have one last question for you.

  With that, Dazai stops walking and looks at Chuuya with his sad, lonely eyes. Dazai doesn't say the question at first, but it eventually slips out. He seems to be searching for the right words.

Dazai: I just want to understand one thing before we part ways.

Chuuya looked at him with a bit of a perplexed looked

Chuuya: Hm?

Dazai: Why me? Why did you care so much for me?

  He stares intently at Chuuya but remains silent. His face is soft, the usual mocking expression is gone and he seems slightly vulnerable, his lips quivering a little. He looks like all the sadness of this world has gathered in his heart all of a sudden, not knowing how to process it.

Chuuya: I used to care

Dazai was stunned while Chuuya seemed pretty calm about all of this.

Dazai: "used to?"

  He tilts his head slightly, his eyes widening in curiosity. In all the years that Dazai and Chuuya have known each other for, this was the first time he had ever shown some surprise.

  It was only just one word, but it felt like so much more.

Dazai: Why not now? Why did you stop caring for me?

  Dazai's face grows sadder and sadder, the sadness in him growing and hurting him. He wanted to hide the tears that were forming, but it was impossible. He looked down and just let the tears roll down his cheeks.

  He didn't bother wiping them off, he didn't care that much, but the look of heartbreak and devastation had begun to show.

Chuuya: I used to love you and wanted to be you. You taught me everything I needed to know. Yet, everything you told me, only half of it is true.