Don't Look Down

The blow to the stomach

I had been running for a few hours, non-stop. Even when I got tired, I didn't stop. I couldn't get over my father's cowardly expression. At first I was angry. Angry that he was so weak. Angry that I was related to him. But as my anger fizzled, I realized that I wasn't angry. I was ashamed. Embarrassed even. Ashamed to have such a weak father. Embarrassed that everyone had to see his big meltdown. I hung my head.

The light started to fade, and I was sure that I was far enough in the woods that nobody could catch up to me. It was actually very peaceful here. I could hear the rustle of leaves and the melodious chirps of the songbirds. Branches were strewn across the dirt floor, and the canopies felt like an umbrella shielding me from harm. It was all messy yet beautiful to look at. No order. No structure. Bird nests in the trees. A lot of creativity. This place seemed to be the opposite of what They stood for and I wondered why They kept it unharmed.

The darkness came quickly. I sat on the ground in a small clearing that seemed to be devoid of human life. I looked into the orange pack they gave us. In it was a small canteen of water, dried food that could last us about a day or less in case we got trapped underground, a pocketknife-I had no idea why They would arm us with a dangerous weapon-, and a large tarp thingamabob. What was that tarp for? Hmmm, it would make a good shelter! I shook my head and willed myself to stay focused.

I cleared out a small space to lay down. My head rested on a patch of wildflowers that smelled earthy. I stared at the stars above me. They were beautiful. Back in City, they would make us go inside the house and lock our windows before the sky darkened. When I was younger, I would always speculate as to why. I would come up with these crazy story about a big monster that roamed around the streets at night. It would always scare me into wetting the bed. But now I know why they actually kept us confined. If you looked closely, you could see patterns in the night sky. Pictures if you will. It got me thinking. I draw stuff like this all the time. I smiled to myself.

Sitting up, I found a small stick on the forest floor. I started to copy the shapes the stars made. I twirled the makeshift brush around and made a picture of a little pot. This was why looking at the stars was forbidden. It stimulates your creative side. I felt that I needed to do something to signal that I drew this. In a little patch of dirt, I swished the stick around to make a swirling interpretation of how I thought my name would look. You see, we don't know how to write. Only Higher Ups do. I stared longingly at the intricate letters I made. I brushed myself off and surveyed my work proudly.

Then I saw a pair of glowing orbs in the bushes ahead of me. A growling noise filled the air and immediately the birds stopped chirping. The orbs came closer, and a dark figure came out. It had a long slender body, sharp claws and teeth dripping with saliva, and two heart stopping eyes. It snarled. This was a monster come to life from my nightmares. I froze with fear. The monster circled me, apparently deciding whether to pounce or wait until I peed in my pants. It was too impatient. Lunging, it crossed the space between us in one large stride, and raked its claws over my left eye. I cried out, backing away. I lost the vision in my left eye. Putting my hand to it, my palm came back drenched with blood. The pain was agonizing. It was as if someone poured boiling hot water onto my eye then stuck a burning hot rod into it. I screamed. The fire spread from my eye to the whole left side of my face. I could barely see with my one working eye, as I stumbled away from the monster. I gathered my pack and flashlight, and took out the pocketknife and hammer. I took off blundering blindly into the woods. I shined the flashlight ahead of me just before I slammed into a tree.

A bone chilling growl cut into the air behind me. It was closing in fast. I couldn't run all night. I was already tired and it would eventually catch up to me. The only way was to fight. Barely seeing anything, I grabbed hold of the lowest branch. The cool air slapped my eye and made the unbearable pain sting even more. I cried out again as a gust of wind crossed my face. Putting one foot in a groove, I hoisted myself up. It was hard enough to climb with a pack on your back, but even harder while half blind. Most of the time I was either falling or scraping my hands against the rough wood. The monster caught up to me. I wasn't high enough. It clawed at my back. I screamed and jumped to another branch. Then another. Then another. I kept climbing till I was sure I was safe. The monster still prowled under me. It waited for me to come down. I mean, eventually I would have to. I found a tree limb wide enough to support me. There I cut strips of the tarp that was in the pack. I took off my shirt to wrap them around my waist all the way up to my chest. I was hoping to staunch the bleeding and clean out the wound so I fumbled around in the pack as I tried to locate the canteen. I soaked the strips of cloth that pressed against my back. Then I cut a square piece of tarp with my pocketknife, wet it, and dabbed at my eye. I shouted in pain. It hurt. Like really, really hurt. I felt as if I was going to die.

As I cleaned out my eye, I knew that I would never have vision in my eye again. I was completely blind in my left eye. The realization struck me like a hard blow to the stomach. I cut another square of fabric and tied it to my head with a bit of vine hanging from the tree. It served pretty well as an eyepatch.