Sometimes insanity is the only option

Wake up and take a step

Once again, it has been a dreadful day. I reluctantly wake up and slowly get out of the floor. As I pull back the curtains, the soft or perhaps intense sunlight streams into the room. It has been quite some time since I last felt the warmth of the sun, having unknowingly isolated myself from the outside world.

There is only one life, and despite all the pain, I am determined to move forward. Giving up is not an option... not anymore.

It's not a joke anymore, not like it ever was, but... 3 years— almost 3 years without seeing the outside world, isolated from the world. My family was the one that had it harder, as the "Crown prince" of both Bragança and Alexandria, I had a lot of responsibilities, but that was easy, after all, I was a prodigy, the genius of both Alexandria and Bragança— genius huh... not really.

People always praised me for everything I did. Why is that, you ask? Because it's true I was flawless in everything I did, or at least that's the way I was perceived. But I am not a genius, and I know that very well. All that they saw was not talent, it was dedication, effort, perseverance, and more.

I wasn't able to do a lot of things correctly, and when it happened, I cried. I would go to my room with some pretext and cry and cry some more. I gave it my all, so much that I would fall asleep dreaming of training, to reach the levels that made people praise me as a prodigy, I put all my effort.

Mana, you ask? My mana core was so strained from overuse that I felt pain walking, still, I did not stop because I knew it would work as I planned for my future. Super strength? From where I am from, no one with my age was my equal. Fighting style too, I know a bit of all principal styles, but my main is the "Imperial blade of the deviant," and I'm a deviant master at this point.

If I was traveling, I would just use my head to challenge myself, be it with mathematics, etiquette, languages, and more, in other words I would not stop improving myself.

It was tough, I won't lie. I shed so many tears, but you know what? No regrets at all. I poured my heart and soul into becoming a better person. All I ever wanted was to make my family and people proud, and most importantly, be proud of myself for how far I've come.

And you know what my ultimate dream is? It's to unite Alexandria and Bragança, creating the most epic empire this world has ever laid eyes on! I wanna fight for that number one spot and get all that this world has to offer.

After that, the sky's the limit! I wanna build a freaking paradise, a place where everyone's just happy and content. I know it won't be a piece of cake, and it might not seem possible right now, but hey, it's my dream and one of my biggest goals. Although, I gotta admit, It will take time, even more with my current situation, but I will get to that eventually, first of all I'll destroy my enemies the ones who made me hide myself from the world... from this cruel world.

Huff huff— I'm panting and shivering, and it's happening once more. I can feel myself starting to tremble, and this is not good. I really need to find a way to calm down before I end up hyperventilating.

I hate feeling this way, it's not like I'm scared... right? But damn, it seems I'm still afraid... why did all of that have to happen? I didn't want things to end like that, but I was weak. Thinking I could protect myself was my biggest mistake. The thought of not being enough makes me want to cry sob— I don't want to feel powerless or out of control ever again. All I ever wanted was to be happy with the people I love, so why did that have to happen? This fear just won't go away, and it hurts so bad. I can't stop crying, but it also makes me so mad. I feel lost...