part ii
a green creek short story
by tj klune
(Spoilers for Wolfsong, Ravensong and Heartsong. You've been warned.)
The first full moon after Carter leaves is like knives in her skin. It pulls at
her, causing her skin to vibrate. She ignores it—there's too much work to do,
the country is so vast, and Carter could be anywhere—until she can't. And
then she tries to fight against it, tries to force her humanity to the forefront,
the wolf snarling in her bones, a beast struggling to break free.
When she was on the cusp of her first shift, her mother—a sweet woman
with fire in her eyes—held her close, wiping the sweat from her brow as she
whispered, "I've got you, I've got you, you're fine, you're okay, I'm here."
The pack circled around them, watching, waiting, low whuffs coming from
the Alpha, his eyes red, red, red. Elizabeth Morris screamed and screamed as
her nerves lit up, as her muscles stretched, as the bones cracked and broke,
cracked and broke, hair sprouting along her arms and legs. A terrible
shudder rolled through her, her back arching as her mouth dropped open,
fangs sprouting from her gums.
And then relief, relief so green,
When she looked back up at her mother, it was with wolf eyes, sharper, the
clarity enough to knock the breath from her chest. She no longer thought
with a human mind. She was wolf, on four legs, her tail trembling.
Her mother smiled. "There you are. I knew you could do it. I'm so proud of
you."
She hasn't thought about that moment in years. Too much has happened, and
it never seems to end.
Her husband. Her children. Her pack, all of them never knowing a moment
of peace, never getting a chance to breathe, to just be. It's fighting and death
and blood spilled upon the territory as if it demands a sacrifice time and time
again.
She doesn't want to give into the shift when she's feeling so black because
the last time she did—
after Thomas, his body still warm by the time she found him on that horrible
night—she stayed as a wolf for months. It was easier to stay as a wolf
because the grief, that all-consuming monster that never seemed to let her
go, was...well. It wasn't gone, no, never that, but it was manageable, it was
easier, and for once, she wanted to go the easy route.
She hated herself for this, after. She hated that she wasn't there for her pack
knowing they needed her, but then Joe and Kelly and Carter followed the
monster into the dark, and she had never felt so alone in her life. She had
Mark. She had Ox. And later, Jessie and Rico and Chris and Tanner, but oh
