Kakashi
Months have passed since Rin's death. I wish I could say things are getting better but they aren't. I'm constantly haunted by what I did. No matter what I do I can't get the image of me piercing her through the heart out of my head. I killed her. I killed one of my friends.
If it wasn't for Obito I don't know what I would've done. He's been there for me every step of the way. He holds me after I have a panic attack or when I'm crying and listens to me when I talk about how I'm feeling. Most nights I can't sleep unless we're in the same bed together and he's holding me.
I know I shouldn't rely on him so much but I can't help it. He's the only one that understands my pain. He's the only one that doesn't judge me for what happened. It's when he's not around that I start to panic the most. Madara takes him on a lot of missions as training for him and I can't help but worry.
I'm scared he'll get hurt again or worse not come back at all. His father is a strong Shinobi so I know he's safe with him. Madara would die before he let anything happen to Obito on his watch. I just can't help but worry about him.
I don't do it often but today was one of the days I went outside by myself. I usually don't go anywhere unless it's with Obito or Sensei. But today I just needed to get out and feel the sun for a bit. I felt suffocated being inside.
I walked with my head down as my hands rested in my pockets. My mind was blank, body numb. My foot kicked a can by accident and in return, I started kicking it around. I listened to it rattle as it rolled on the ground and listened to the small dent noises that were made as my foot made contact with it.
I was waiting anxiously for Obito to come back, it would be three more days. Three more days until I would be able to relax and sleep again. For some reason I can never sleep when he isn't around, weird I know.
I thought I would just be able to come outside and have an hour or two of peace but I was mistaken. "Hey Kakashi"! Gai said as he made his way over with our friends and a kid I didn't know. He was younger than us and had brown hair. I mentally groaned.
"Hey, guys". I said in a monotone voice. "We haven't seen you in a while. How are you"? Kurenai asked. "I'm fine. I've just been busy". "With what"? Asuma asked. "Minato sensei isn't home nor is Obito".
"I've been training...........and spending time with my dad". I could see the uneasy looks they had on their faces. My father Sakumo had done the right thing but the village turned their backs on him and caused him to commit suicide. That's why I used to be so hard on Obito, I just didn't want the same thing to happen to him. I didn't want his light to go out.
"Why would you want to spend time with him"? One of the villagers asked. It was a woman. "He's a disgrace to the village". "He saved his teammate". I said looking down. "He saved someone who didn't want to be saved". A man spoke.
"He did what he thought was right". "He broke the rules. The mission always comes first". Another woman spoke. "He followed his heart. I admire him for that". "Is that why you killed one of your friends"? I said nothing.
"You abandoned your mission to save your friend twice only to end up killing her in the end". "T that was an accident. I was trying to bring her home". "Excuses! Everyone knows Rin was weaker than you and Obito. I'm surprised it was her and not him. Everyone knows you hated him a year ago".
"That's not true". Tears were starting to fill my eyes. "Isn't? Everyone knows you would always chastise him and put him down for being late". "I never hated him though". "You sure acted like it. I should tell Madara and Hashirama to keep him away from you before you end up killing him as well".
