𝙎𝙀𝙑𝙀𝙉𝙏𝙀𝙀𝙉 | Oneshots & More

Vernon: Wet dreams

Vernon + "I had this dream and- fuck- you couldn't keep your hands off me."

wordcount: 3.1k

tags: stoner!vernon, stoner!afab reader, clearly the use of smoking weed, first time with awkward best friends who only share their attractions to each other when they're zooted as fuck, no joke– weed is a personality trait in this.

warnings: mentions of anxiety and panic attacks.

note: this was requested through an event that i was doing over on tumblr! 

~

You're not entirely sure how you became so close with Vernon, the guy in highschool who definitely carried his lunch back to class in his pockets. Maybe it's because college is hard, and Vernon is easy to be around. Kind of like a breath of fresh air except all the air you breathe in with him happens to be incredibly thick with smoke.

Never in your life did you consider weed as a personality trait. Not yours, anyway, until Vernon is around you. Honestly, it's like being a burn-out during your down time is actually quite relaxing, as long as you keep up with your GPA and assignments, there's nothing wrong with wake n' baking. Or like, taking a few hits before a big exam to calm the anxious energy inside of you, right?

The thing is, it's gotten to the point that you've smoked in all sorts of scenarios and find the least anxiety ridden experience to be the one where it's just you and him, sitting outside of his shitty apartment and pretending like every college kid within a six mile radius can't sniff the two of you out.

Peer pressure be damned, Vernon was the first one to ever pass you a joint at a random party you both happened to attend. You didn't really know why you grabbed it because you swore to yourself that you'd be straight edge until you get a degree, and then you'd maybe try buying a bottle of vodka and a sack of weed just to see what you missed out on. It was something about that night, your first college party, the first familiar face at a party, and the urge to say fuck it.

You didn't mean to actually inhale it, but somehow it was a natural thing your body did and Vernon didn't even laugh at you for choking. That's when you became friends with him, and ultimately over the months the two of you would often run into the other.

Your first weed-induced panic attack was at a party with him, and he was honestly so fast to get you out of there without so much as knowing where you needed to go. Calming you down and very aware that you probably smoked too much, and had a little too much to drink as well. The weed wasn't laced, he said, the alcohol wasn't spiked, he assured. Somehow, and someway, his fried ass got you through it and the night ended much better as the two of you sat in a random person's back yard picking their grass and talking about gods, and universes, and the theory of giants roaming the earth in ancient times.

By now, he should know you don't prefer the parties. It doesn't stop him from trying to include you every single time though. Tonight was just another invitation, one in which you declined.

Why? Smoking around other people isn't fun. It makes you paranoid and uncomfortable. Being hit on ruins the fun too. Plus, the music is almost always trash.

Vernon: why won't you come?

You: you know i don't like smoking in groups

Vernon: but free weed :(

You: just bring some over when you're done doing whatever you wanna do.